Book # 9 Pattern Changes; Universal Laws of Success and Spiritual Excellence

Author: Rose Assier Parvin, A Reformed Pscyhotherapist

5 3/8 X 8 1/2, perfectbind, 288 p. Glossary, $15 $15, 288 pages, 5 3/8 x 8 1/2, Perfectbind, PUB. DATE: 1994,
Universal Publishing Company.<BRIEF LISTING>

This miraculously demystified book presents an evo-revolutionary vision that empowers
the Forgotten Self, creates and Institution of Self, brings us closer to one another through
a larger purpose beyond the Self, guiding us toward the universal power of wisdom and
nurturance that embraces us all as equal children of humanity.

CATEGORY: Self-help/Human potential, Psychology
KEY WORDS:  Personal Growth, Counseling, Healing, Health,  Self, Guidance,
Humanity, Spirituality, Society.

TITLE:  PATTERN CHANGES:  Universal Laws of Success and Spiritual Excellence
AUTHOR:  Rose Assier Parvin
288 pages
5 3/8 x 8 1/2
Perfectbind (Paperback)
ISBN: 1-885917-08-2
PUB. DATE:  1994
PUBLISHER:  Universal Publishing Company, PO Box 15424, Newport Beach, CA
TELEPHONE:  (714) 723-5748  (800) 723-5748     FAX:  (714) 723-5748

We can live powerful, successful lives while maintaining spirituality. Our Life Patterns must be in harmony with the Universal Patterns and Laws of Power Balance of Success-Spiritual Excellence, otherwise no matter how hard we work, we will live a life of crisis and calamity. There is no person who can live without the Laws of Wisdom and Nurturance provided by the universe, and there is no rule on earth that prevents us from living spiritually excelled lives while succeeding.

This miraculously demystified book presents an evo-revolutionary vision that empowers the forgotten Self, creates an Institution of Self, brings us closer to one another through a larger purpose beyond the Self and guides us toward the universal power of wisdom and nurturance that embargoes us all as equal children of humanity.

There is no meaningful success or true spiritual conquest without a Self that is whole within, and connected without. " True success lies heavily upon the Power Balance of dimensions and shades of all essence I call Patterns, that enable any individual or nation to succeed & prosper societally, without compromising inner hymns of wisdom to nurture the progressions of self & the soul of humanity."


Derived from the book Pattern Change Programing; Creating Your Own Destiny: an evo-revolutionary psycho-spirituality of being
@ 1994 Rose Parvin
All rights reserved under International copyright
No parts of this book may be reproduced or transmitted
in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical,
including photocopy, recording, or by any information
storage and retrieved system, without permission in
writing from the publisher. For information:
Universal Publishing Company PO Box 15424
Newport Beach California 92659

Library of Congress Catalog-in-publication Data
Parvin, Rose Assier,1950
Pattern Changes : the universal laws of success
and spiritual excellence / Rose Assier Parvin.
P. Cm.
ISBN 1-885917-08-2
1. Success. 2. Spiritual life I. Title.
BJ1611.P276 1995
248.4--dc20 95-130
Printed in USA

I would like to specially thank my children, Ellie and Shaun whose love has inspired me to reach beyond reality. They are the shareholders of my joy, my pain, my experiences, my personhood, my vision, my mission, and my success and spirituality. They are the power balance within me, beside me and most often, beyond me.
Special thanks to: Cari Hoyt who In 1985, when l gave her a sketch of my logo in pencil, materialized what has been representing my life mission Pattern Change, Preventive Care and Peace creation. Mark Jenkins who has religiously filmed my seminars, Figge Family who have photographed all my activities for the past fifteen years including all the book covers. Marlo Brooke, the precious editor. And I thank my clients and interns and the treasure of experience and trust they have given me. And my friends, who dare to share power.
Intro- summary:
A mind-Body - Spirit Evo-revolution... 1
Success and Excellence... 3
One: My Self, Your Self...5
The Knowledge of Being
Patterns of Self...8
The Chosen Self...10
The feared Self...12
The Victim Self...13
The Adopted Self...14
The Institution of Self...15
Root to Success, Path to Spirituality...19
Thick Shells of Denial...20
The Universal Law of Power Balance...22
Self-Programing Success and Spiritual Excellence...24
Two: The Forgotten Self...27
Universal Self...28
Philosophical Self...32
Societal Self...35
Society and the Individual...36
Psychological Self...41
Psycho-physiological Self... 46
Three: My Computer, My Self...48
Components of Individual Computer...58
Functions of Individual Computer...59
The Scientific Program: Pattern Change Programing...64
Four: Our Culture, Our Self... 70
All Patterns are Cross-Cultural
Beyond The Inherited Culture... 71
Eastern Culture, Timeless Path... 72
Westernization, An Advanced Maze... 74
The War of Cultures ... 76
Embracing Differentness ...79
Universal Freedom and Liberty... 80
Pseudo Savior Syndrome... 83
Societal Tough Love... 85
The Arrogant Culture: Hitler's Men... 85
Five: 11 Universal Laws ...87
of Success-Spiritual Excellence
Laws of Multidimensionality
1st - Universal Law
Law of Pattern Change... 88
Blueprint for Change... 91
2nd - Universal Law
Law of Power Balance... 98
3rd - Universal Law
Law of Wisdom-Nurturance... 107
4th Universal Law
Law of Being and Doing... 114
5th- Universal Law
Law of Assertion-Compassion... 122
6th Universal Law
Law of Part-Wholeness... 126
7th Universal Law
Law of Chaos and Order... 130
8th Universal Law
Law of Feminine-Masculine... 134
9th Universal Law
Law of Responsibility-Freedom...145
Taming Basic Instincts... 145
10th Universal Law
Familiarity-Difference... 155
11th Universal Law
Law of Universal Code of Ethics... 158
Six : Universal Patterns of Success... 162
Being and Doing... 162
The Making of Successful Children... 162
Patterns of Goal Orientation... 165
Process Orientation Patterns... 168
Goal - Process Power Balance... 169
Patterns of Strength... 171
Patterns of Vulnerability... 174
Patterns of Activity: Focus outward... 175
Patterns of Openness... 176
Patterns of Boundary... 177
Boundaryless Society... 178
Mind- Body Imbalance... 179
Seven : Universal Spiritual Excellence...183
Universal Spirituality
Patterns of Compassion... 184
Patterns of Morality... 185
Patterns of Kindness... 189
Patterns of Decency...189
Patterns of Excellence... 191
Nature of Excellence... 192
Patterns of Excellence, Type... 193
Patterns of Self - Discipline... 193
Patterns of Self - Control... 195
Patterns of Silence... 196
Patterns of Flexibility... 200
Flexible People... 200
Patterns of Responsibility... 201
Patterns of Freedom... 202
Patterns of Ethics... 203
Patterns of Honesty... 206
Eight: Programing Universal Success... 208
Path to Success... 208
Mind-Control for Success...210
Roots of Success... 216
Make Your Own Mistakes... 227
Patterns Children Teach... 229
Nine : Programing Universal Excellence... 236
Mind - Body- Spirit Movement... 236
Universal Mind-Body Prayer... 239
Pattern Change Therapy:
Scientific Method for Excellence... 243
Pattern Analysis... 244
Analysis of the Past... 244
Deductive Reasoning of the Present... 245
The Final Analysis... 246
The Excelled Individual... 247
Patterns of Change
Purifying the Spirit... 250
Paths to Power Balance... 254
Ten : Tales of Universal Excellence... 257
The Power Balance... 257
Tale of a Successful man
who had nothing... 262
Tale of a woman who feared her power... 264
Instant Forest amidst maddening crowd... 267
Tale of a woman who slept with the devil... 269

Glossary... 272
To Our Chidldren... 276
Book Order... 277

About the Author
Rose A. Parvin, author of nine groundbreaking books in one year, is on a lifetime mission to create patterns of health success and spiritual excellence in family and the society with revolutionary methods and vision beyond psychology. Mother of two children of 21 and 17, international consultant, speaker, guide, marital and family counselor, is psychotherapist and the founder and director of Parvin Center for Patterns of Excellence in Newport Beach and Beverly Hills for thirteen years. Graduate of Chapman and California State Long Beach Universities, Rose believes that being a person is more than being someone's daughter or wife, or belonging to a piece of land. Home, to Rose, is where there is peace, compassion, dignity and universal laws of Pattern Change and Power Balance beyond any predetermined labels that mold the multidimensional patterns of humanity.


A Mind-Body-Spirit
My life experiences have led me constantly to question and seek the truth to create balance within mySelf and with the people I love. I have watched many compromise the truth of their Self for societal awards, or live in poverty of mind and action and at the mercy of others all of their lives. Only because they were told that success was evil. And the result was the choice of corruption of the soul in some, and despair and decay of the mind in others. I believe there should be neither. There is no reason to compromise the Self in any life dimensions. Only when we have all the options are our choices truly sincere. I believe, success is the prerequisite of excellence and a universal spiritual freedom. We live in a history making time when the lack of recognition of the power of Self and the intentional efforts to oppress its knowledge will cost us far more than our jobs, our relationships or our accumulated wealth. We live in a time when we must know who we are and question where are we going and where have we been. Or else others will lead us to their own destination. Throughout my life, I felt a universal connection: a commonalty of natural laws and the swing of their pendulum with that of my inner being and others. As the day and night need Power Balance and equal existence, as the universe goes through its own crisis of trial and turbulence to calmness and greatness and a spiritual excellence, we follow its footprints. To learn, to nurture and to respect our Universal Laws is the path to success and spirituality that lacks limitations to Self Ignorance, addiction to religion and commitment to corruption.
I will share with you the Life Patterns which I call the Universal Laws; the Power Balance of Patterns that embrace the Collective of Success and Spiritual Excellence; a process and a path where we can begin but never end; a process that clears the clouds of self-doubt and lack of strength; where we no longer need to live by the societal pressure of competitive rivalry, nor by its critical labels that keep us as objects who, in order to operate, need a permit. I will introduce to you different laws, inner laws that you will learn to respect. I will guide you towards a different path and a different pattern of life and living where you no longer feel compeled to rebel. You can become whole and within your own wholeness you can become a part of everything that is near. I don't like to alphabetize things to underestimate your intelligence. We have been given far too much fast food in this society and that is one of our biggest problems. But I would like to make you think, question, analyze and make your mind work, followed by your body so that they can comfortably embrace your precious soul. From my own mind into my body, my soul and my emotion, I process guiding you to getting closer to yours. In my journey I may seem philosophical, societal, spiritual, scientific or just use plain common sense. We are all multidimensional and we have been looked at and treated as flat and one dimensional for too long and that is one of the reasons we never reach true solutions. Our inner Self is the only place where lack of boundary and openness means wholeness. I trust and hope that you will read me and will not feel intimidated by the differentness of my presentation as I try in my own humble existence to close the gap between us, and present patterns of life where we can all equally live in success, prosperity and universal spiritual excellence.
My mission and intent, is to guide you to your purpose. There is a misunderstanding, a myth that Spirituality means giving up Self and all that matters. There is even a bigger misunderstanding that Success can always be achieved on top of the tower that we have made from the bodies that we have walked upon without regret. Simply put, Success is not a sin; it is the prerequisite of spiritual excellence. I believe that you can have it all right here on earth, and there is no such a thing as "some can and some can't." It is a sad truth that not all of us are born in the same prosperous land or in the same luxurious homes or of the same popular color, race or gender. But we are all inherently born with the same power and capacity for pattern of freedom-responsibility and right to equal opportunity. And if we have been raised with life patterns that allow us to blossom with all of our Self, we can change; that is a Universal Law that governs me. We all change; it is the direction of our change that we choose consciously, or unconsciously. That is why we must be aware.
Success and Spiritual Excellence
My mission is a global one, without bias or prejudice against one land or another, one race or another, one gender or another, or one belief system or another. Many may take that as a sign of a lack of compassion. On the contrary; it takes true compassion to create Universal Patterns that embrace all whom there are to love, not just a selected few, and to have loyalty to humanity globally, and to the universe that holds us all within, not just to a piece of land. By challenging our sensationalized addictive attachments we can develop Patterns of Excellence and arrive at true Universal Spirituality and success. I believe that not even the most justified beliefs are spiritually true if claiming them includes the harmful process of discriminating against certain people. I would like to believe that by seeing the larger picture of a global unity that advocates peace, harmony and excellence in the path of humanity, we can begin to make the changes necessary within Self, essential to making any changes in a larger capacity.
You can have it all: Success and Excellence. I would like to share with you the belief that we can truly have it all in this world. There should not be exaggerated sacrifices for happiness, in this life or after. In fact, the principles are one and the same. Once we step inside, within Self, we become even more capable of stepping outside of Self and connecting fully with others. Once we can step outside of ourselves and engage in a larger purpose, a
mission or an intent to serve society or humanity in one way or another, then our own personal purpose and intent blossoms right before our eyes, bringing us the fruits that we were once taught would be impossible to bear simply because we lacked then, the vision we have learned now, and the desire to look further. Having a purpose outside of exclusive profit-and-loss sheet of existence not only brings us closer to our true Self (for we must step within in order to see a clear path to getting out of ourselves); it brings us closer to our goals, with more consistent and powerful Life Patterns of Joy and Mastery, leaving us no time for preoccupation with corruption or despair. The existence of Self as a whole will enable us to create the power within in order to transcend a non-selective compassion and thus develop a sense of oneness, a unity, a universally spiritual connection, of becoming Part of a Whole, universal grace, and of its parental wisdom and nurturance. Psycho-Universal Spirituality will not only strengthen the Power of Self and move us away from the traditional image of Self as powerless, sick, dependent, worthless, guilty, shameful, and thus envious, prejudiced, and hateful, but will also move us towards health, societal success, and power, universal compassion, inner peace, prosperity and thus excellence within Self and in humanity. The dimensions of Self have always been introduced separate from one another. One has either been able to have an independent clarity of the mind and assertive claim of the body, or an options for spirituality which has meant a focus outside of Self, relying upon an external entity. I believe in Power Balance within all dimensions of existence; a whole Self versus a divided Self; connected with others and creating abundance and prosperity, connected with Self and the Universal Power embracing us all, creating internal and universal peace and harmony.








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To Our Children
Creators of Tomorrow
This is my legacy that I leave to my children,
whose inherent inner wisdom
and clarity has created nurturance
and abundance of compassion
within me,
not only for them, but for my Self,
and for the entire race of humanity.
The meaning of life, has become clear
only by the Power Balance,
of our existence
of our togetherness,
and of our sameness,
and of our differentness.
I have experienced life,
on both sides
of the Universal Pendulum,
through their vision.
I see my children
within me, beside me,
and most often,
beyond me,
in my ever-changing
Patterns, that we
Programmed towards the
ever-growing mission
to clean the air
from toxins of all nature
so that all our children
can breathe, comfortably,
in an environment of
peace, compassion, progression,
and Universal Harmony.

The Path of Guidance:  Nature of Guidance, Patterns of Guidance, The Making of a
Programer, Self- Programing, Focus on Self, Patterns of a Guide, Self-Knowledge.
Programing Patterns of Excellence:  Patterns of Excellence, The Nature of Excellence,
Patterns of  Excellence--Types, Patterns of Self-Discipline, Patterns of Self-Control,
Patterns of Silence, Patterns of  Flexibility, Flexible People, Patterns of Responsibility,
Patterns of Freedom, Patterns of Ethics,  Patterns of Honesty, Creating Balance Program,
Change Therapy for Cognition, Creating Power Balance--Programing Excellence, Pattern
Change Programing:  Search for Excellence, Pattern Analysis, Analysis of the Past,
Deductive Reasoning of the Present, The Final Analysis, The Excelled Individual, Pattern
Change Programing for Purifying the Spirit.


My Self, Your Self

The Knowledge of Being
Our Self is the most significant, powerful and capable tool we need in life in order to succeed beyond our wildest dreams and to excel beyond our destined path. To search within the inner Self and to nurture and master this complex, mysterious, unclaimed land, we must become curious and search, question, analyze, and take notes of the possibilities and patterns of being and doing. We truly have an exclusive Gem of life in our own bare hands, although we look restlessly outside of our Self for the tools to fulfill our life wishes and fantasies. To search ourSelf is the only way we can find another, intimately; to touch ourSelf is the only way we can touch another, softly; to capture ourSelf is the only step to reaching out and forging life at its best, joyfully, successfully and spiritually.
Is there anything in life that does not involve you and your Self? Do you have a business or relationship or family where you can keep your Self out of it and feel that you are being fulfilled? There is no such a thing. Anything in life that goes on within you and around you directly affects Self; your inner being with all your dimensions. So if you don't want to hear about your Self, then you are telling me that you don't want to feel life, nor be engaged in it. But nonetheless, you will still feel life and be engaged in it, only instead of you initiating your Self and utilizing your inner dimensions for life success and spiritual excellence, others will initiate your Self for their own personal gains. That is why most people, no matter how intelligent, spend almost all of their lives in despair. Their inner Self, their entire system within, is actually working for others via the programing and influence of others. This is not because they are not capable of power and success and excellence; they were simply told that it is selfish to have a Self. They were told so by others who had enough of a Self to preach to them and to benefit by their feelings of selflessness and shame and guilt.
Have you ever known anyone to succeed at a business they knew nothing about? They succeed only once they learn all the back alleys leading to the sources that give them the clarity about their business. After selective search, brief analysis and use of deductive reasoning to arrive at the right answers, and once they have explored all the possibilities, anyone can reap the fruits of their labor successfully. Most people begin from the bottom and work up to the top. They start from the company mailman to the CEO to companies merging with other companies. But all along they have known one thing clearly: they are special beings and no matter what they do, they will succeed. And they have gone through life giving it all with joy, at every moment of living.
The key to success is building strong foundations based on not only the Knowledge of doing, but also the Knowledge of being. Our entire lives are based on doing: doing the right things, saying the right things, going to the right places and presenting ourselves with the right tools. Our being: who we are and how we relate to our Self, suffers beneath all the doing. In fact, most of us become experts at teaching others how to be by doing magical things and saying magical phrases. But when it comes to being, we fall short for our Self and others. This is the problem today with our society where no one is truly responsible for their being, so what they are doing has no substance or value in essence. We have learned that we can even tell machines to do whatever we want them to do. We know their being consists of a bunch of wires that at any moment we can pull out or unplug.
The wealth we hold within, in our Inner Being. By the same token, when we reward and praise people for doing, we are neglecting and ignoring them for their being. Most often, especially as parents, we punish and reward the acts of our children as if their actions are their entire Self, leaving their true being unnourished and unloved inside. And we do the same thing with ourselves. We expect from ourSelf to do everything perfectly and to present a perfect picture to the world while neglecting and starving our guest of honor, our precious Inner Being: our Self. Our inherent, equally deserving and worthy Self is our true wealth and to discover it, we must consistently dig within. But we don't have to be content with just that if we don't want to. We can accumulate wealth the way we are accustomed to or the way we wish and the way that gives us financial and societal security, stability and flexibility. But in all aspects of life where we seek success, the prerequisite to accumulating societal recognition and power involves digging into the wealth of our Inner Being.
Societal Success: prerequisite for Spiritual Excellence. In the process of Pattern Change, which is my therapeutic tool for providing Societal Success and Spiritual Excellence, Societal Success is a prerequisite for achieving higher, more solid and powerful Patterns of Living and Spiritual Excellence in our everyday lives and in humanity: a life where we can have it all, right here in our inner heaven on earth and in the land of freedom and opportunity. The process of achieving material success teaches us dimensions of our Self unknown to many. The choices we make in life after many things we have dreamed of have been made available to us are choices of our true Self. What we learn about Self in interaction with others when our benefit or loss is at stake is a statement of our integrity. What we are willing to do when a great deal of our effort and the fruits of our labor are at stake determines our true substance and capacity.
Patterns of Self
Self Patterns are patterns we learn as children. There are many Self Patterns we adopt or later on choose. Our Self is capable of many patterns, shades and dimensions. We can be anything we want to be and we can always change our patterns to whatever dimensions we focus on expanding. As long as we are aware of the Self within us and embrace our Self with knowledge, we can change any pattern to our chosen direction, and we can create our own destiny. If we live in a dark whirlpool of ignorance and our Self Knowledge is blocked, we live at the mercy of those who program our lives and we lose control of our destiny. Life is a playground as well as a testing and trial of Self Dimensions. We polish our Self as we experience life. But if we blindly accept the patterns given to us as children by role modeling and societal and parental expectations, we sacrifice our Self to blind loyalty and we become stagnant. Self-sacrifice is not a virtue, it is ignorance. We don't have to sacrifice ourSelf in order to be helpful to humanity, nor do we become saints as we allow others to use us as objects.
We need not victimize ourSelf in order to be good; there is no such thing as turning the other cheek. That is a misinterpretation of wisdom, and an outdated demonstration of goodness, as is the abuse of power by intimidation and control and creation of fear and distance. Besides, I don't see many of those who advocate the interpretation to be turning their own cheeks at present. My professional and personal experience has been that many people who seem kind on the surface and willing to Self-sacrifice have been detrimental to the welfare of many people's lives and happiness. They have far too much anger inside, from being victimized to be healthy or constructive to anyone. There is also a great deal of payoff and investment in being a victim: far more of an investment than in being a responsible person. The victim will ultimately become the bully and get even, and while acting as victim, never has to make an effort in being responsible. Furthermore, the victim feels like a winner inside while acting like a loser just to punish others. Many people kill themselves to get even with those who have hurt them. This imbalanced and round-about way of winning is a pattern of those who would do anything not to get caught being imperfect. They are terrified of risking approval and would rather die than not be liked, while hanging on to those who are risking, taking responsibility for being who they are, and ultimately succeeding. They have also been taught that by being a victim they can get their way more easily.
We will talk about the Patterns of Self in this book and what they will bring, in detail. I think we all have gone on with our lives neglecting the Self within. Now it is time to stop the past programing. Enough is enough and we are much too smart to leave our precious Self for the whims of those who want to use us as objects and keep us barefoot, Selfless, helpless, powerless and shamed. It is a dangerous time we live in. Every Tom, Dick and Harry has learned to cleverly manipulate us to their way and to use their toxic influences to manipulate the rest of the universe. If not for our own sake, for the sake of our children we cannot go on silently, neglecting our own inherent power within. So we will explore our Self and we will explore the dimensions of Self and the unlimited cast of characters we have existing within us, waiting to be nurtured, recognized and discovered. Honesty and Transparency of Self are patterns that may seem uncomfortable initially. We have all learned the game of being politically correct and societally flat and single-dimensional so that we don't get stamped, judged and axed out automatically. Some have been so oppressed that as soon as they come out they become obnoxious, fulfilling their nightmares and our fears. But to be transparent and honest in a wise and compassionate pattern to ourSelf as well as to others makes us safe for our Self and others. Honesty comes from reaping the fruits of our labor, asserting our rights to what we deserve, appreciating the hard work and the rights of others. Because only when we have worked hard towards our own success can we appreciate that of others and focus more on reaping our own fruit instead of waiting to be fed by others.
The Chosen Self
Patterns of Success are the chosen patterns of the individual. These patterns are directly related to Cognitive-Emotional Power Balance and to the level of clarity of the cognitive vision of success that is created by the individual. There is no conflict between patterns of success and those of spiritual Excellence. In fact, they are all part of a linear process of Excellence. Success is prerequisite for true excellence, for choice creates true clarity of the mind.
We must learn about the victimized Self within us. We must change the patterns of this neglected child of innocence to that of love, nurturance and power balance in order to polish our robbed and silenced abilities and utilize them towards ultimate success and excellence. I will not work with you towards a fast answer of shallow success, but instead towards that which possesses the depth of the sea and the boundary of the universe. This definition of success can carry you throughout your life in all dimensions and is not just a presentation that will leave you lonely and empty on one side while giving you the pretense of success on the other.
In my book entitled Answer to Humanity I explore my vision of an excelled society and the tools of achieving it. For any individual who grows enough to care about their Self, the first thing they will recognize and want is a healthier, more excelling environment for their children and for their Self. Those who fight people who try to clean up the air are just as ignorant in the art of raising their children with love and caring about their Self. No one would argue about the basics of life necessary for the flowers of life to blossom happily and healthily except those who are blind to the nurturance and compassion to their own Self as well as the children of humanity. True success does not lie upon making millions of dollars on top of our children's victimized souls and bodies. It lies upon wanting to be empowered and to empower those around us, equally and simultaneously.
We deserve a society that breathes excellence and heightened spirituality, leaving us free to focus our inner power to learn about the life of abundance and patterns of humanity. This, my friend, is not an idealistic vision. It is a tested remedy as an answer to end individual and universal crisis, pain and suffering. The governor of a home and a state and a country all have one thing in common; they are put in a position of responsibility for the people who trust them, and they had better like children. I have been there and have helped others govern their estates and countries with compassion and kindness, yet with firmness and strength. If you think power struggle at home can destroy spirits, just watch C-Span and you can find the same patterns and principles that exist in every little home. Those who care about people embrace the life of every living entity with words of compassion. Those who don't try to oppress and control every breath or, if not careful, make Freudian slips that uncover inner imbalance, lack of Self, pain and confusion.
A Universal Law of Success. It is the same pattern of connection in both a little house and in Congress; those without a Self cannot accept others, and those with a Self embrace all life and its different shades. The process of obtaining Self needs willingness to trust: not trust in me, but trust in your Self. Through Self search, exploration and analysis of all dimensions of our inner world we can heal, sow, and ultimately reap the fruit of a chosen, not predestined, life of abundance. For that we must focus on ourSelf. True success of anyone depends directly on how she or he is perceived and nurtured by the environment that embraces the person. And vice-versa, the success of any society depends heavily upon the wholeness of the individual Self of its members. The feelings of wholeness within each part is just as significant as the togetherness and connection. This is one of the Universal Laws of Success and Spiritual Excellence that I have found from my professional and personal life experience.
The Feared Self
Fear by itself may seem harmless to others and at times to ourSelf. But fear can become the most toxic pattern we hold within. Fear is a multidimensional pattern of a victimized Self: a Self that has been controlled and used and abused and neglected. It is a Self that instead of empowerment and nurturance, has been treated with manipulations of power and has been kept in degrees of ignorance. It is a Self who is afraid of Self and a Self who has been criticized against the Self. The victimized Self has no free time to attend to success and spiritual excellence because it is filled within with patterns of jealousy, hatred, envy, bigotry and prejudice.
Fear is the most devastating pattern blocking all success and prosperity. Fear motivates us against Self-Knowledge, creativity, exploration, curiosity, questioning and a clear life path of joy and mastery. I have had to fight fear ever so consciously on every level of my growth and Self Search. There are times when our fear is so strong and powerful that we choose not to give ourSelf the chance at being. We go on pretending and walking like zombies and clones of society. But once we taste the sweetness of the bitter fruit of our Self-Knowledge, once we see and feel far more than ever, we will not want to save the bridge of returning. We will burn it with all the evils of ignorance behind us that want to grab us and throw us into the hole we were living in and leave us at the mercy of ruthless misinterpretations and perceptions of how we should be living.
But it all had a positive and worthwhile purpose up to the moment of our life when we no longer need to hang on to the cause once that affected us. Pain and suffering is always a mystical and magical pattern offered by the universal wisdom and nurturance that watches over us like a good parent of love and compassion in order for us to see the difference between good and evil so that we want and choose to move towards the light. Thus, pain and suffering is healing, except when we panic and want to shortcut the pain without exploring and questioning. I have had much pain and suffering throughout my life. When I look back I have much reason to complain. But how can anyone complain about the causes of her inner richness and clarity and all that has brought her freedom and liberty? All that I could hang on to as a reason to feel victimized has already been proven to me as life patterns that have made me more resilient and more flexible as the playful and unpredictable swings of the universe approach me. I feel the balance of powers of strength-flexibility, vulnerability-firmness in harmony with each other working together within me, enabling me to change the adopted patterns of my upbringing; they have given my Self back to me. The imbalances of my past within me had to be overshadowed by the patterns of cognitive, emotional and spiritual strength and self-discipline: patterns I have consciously chosen that will remain with me for the rest of my life, embracing me with multidimensionality as a clear and universal being, guiding me through a path of life: a constant process of joy and mastery. That is why I respect the strength embedded within each and every individual, as well as nurture the fragility that folds them within its thin shell, leaving them open and vulnerable to toxic victimization. I have learned theories and tools that have served me and many others whom I have guided through a path of coming out of the painful victimization of lack of Knowledge of Self, of gaining a universal Self and power balance: traveling through the path of excellence in spirituality.
The Victim Self
I will share with you the common patterns of success and failure briefly here, and I will explore them in detail throughout the book. The common patterns of failure and success both lie within a person. In fact, sometimes one is the other side of the coin of the other and are collectively gathered within one single toxic pattern of Self perception.
Self perception. We have been taught to see our Self as either beautiful, powerful and strong, or as unworthy, shameful and helpless. The latter phrases are ingrained within many of us through religion. Even now, when they sell us religion as freedom and transformation, they are still saying we don't matter and our feelings and rights don't count. I am not talking about faith or spiritual beliefs. I am talking about being fed the kind of language and perception that keeps us down so that others can collect. When we are innocent children and others are already building empires on top of our bodies and planning their properties as the number of bodies increases, we grow up without a true Self, without recognizing and acknowledging that we are powerful and worthy beings and we have a right to be in charge of our own destiny. As children, before we are old enough and tall enough and wise enough to know about our being, they have already planned for us the business of our doing. In so many ways we end up carrying the cross for humanity. Nobody truly knows how to teach us about our Self worth, so instead of getting angry at themselves for being ignorant they blame us by calling us sinful and unworthy. We, as children, are also the only ones sensitive enough to feel the pain of injustice: a sensitivity for which we are also to blame. But we also carry the cross because we reap the fruit of ignorance of others; we live in the midst of the toxicity they create.
The Adopted Self
The Adopted Self consists of all patterns of influences of our past: religion, parents, teachers, society and all the patterns that do not belong to us; it is the Self who is supposed to do it right, without even having the slightest notion of what is truly right. The more the forgotten Self wants, the less the adopted Self recognizes and acknowledges her presence. The Adopted Self is the collective of all the critical patterns programed within the critical entity, the institution that takes its own life and begins to live inside of each and every person, demanding obedience, and pushing the free spirit of the person into rebellion; the institution that is modeled after the old and outdated institution of religion.
The best guides are those who respect the individual's choice of path for themselves once they connect with their own Universal Self. A Universal Self is what parents must obtain in order to be healthy parents for their children and prevent their critical pattern adoption. Parents are not to blame. The rigid rules and influential expectations of their dogma distorts their vision of parenthood. They end up putting their own children on the cross as a result of obedience and blind loyalty to authority. Consequently they lose their children; they rebel. The pattern of rebelling against their Self long after they leave home, is the burden when they carry when they live with an adopted Self.
The Institution of Self
For just a moment, put the societal controversy on a back-shelf in your mind and begin to feel that you are a whole person that does not belong to any slogan or institution except the reformed institution of Self within you: almost the only institution that you can be sure any money or time or attention you give to it will be utilized with unconditional compassion. The institution of Self is reformed. It is now the most worthy cause and the most legitimate source of focus and effort. Without Self there is nothing else. All the external causes we worship and spend our lifetime to pacify will not do a thing for us if we don't adhere to the person we are told to hold prisoner inside, with us acting as guard. We have been taught to become the most ruthless guard of all in the precious being of our Self: a pattern that must be deleted from our life file.
Pattern Inventory for Self Search. I must exaggerate in order to awaken you from your deep sleep as a selfless individual. If you think the following is valid, spend a few moments, grab a note pad and take inventory.
When was the last time you nurtured your Self? Or do you know what Self-Nurturance means?
When was the last time you took a look at yourSelf in the mirror and said "I love you and I am truly proud of you"?
When was the last time you postponed significant demands of your authority figure or even your friends to spend some time with yourSelf in silence?
When was the last time you believed in yourSelf, completely?
When was the last time you believed in your own decisions, independently?
When was the last time you did not second guess yourself?
When was the last time you did not blame yourself? I don't mean repeating what you have learned about your Self from others and saying: "I am so stupid. It is always my fault." I mean a healthy Self Search and examination and taking responsibility for your share of doing.
When was the last time you let your hair down and relaxed?
When was the last time you took a walk on the beach or at your favorite park?
When was the last time you said to yourSelf "I have done enough"?
When was the last time you felt free from obligations and instead of having to live life, chose what you wanted to do?
When was the last time you stood up for your convictions without ambivalence or guilt?
When was the last time you said "no" to something that looked very seductive and tempting just because you wanted to preserve your integrity?
When was the last time you felt whole without having to have a chaperon in life?
When was the last time you loved someone just because you liked them, not because you needed support, comfort or company?
When was the last time you wanted to do something and felt confident that you could?
When was the last time you did something that you knew would not look good to others, but felt good (without compromising your integrity)?
When was the last time you slept comfortably?
When was the last time you made love passionately?
When was the last time you controlled your impulsive anger?
When was the last time you laughed at your own foibles?
When was the last time you cried out your inner pain, loudly?
When was the last time you walked out of a destructive situation before it was too late?
When was the last time you tolerated delay of gratification?
When was the last time you listened, patiently?
When was the last time you gave for the sake of giving?
When was the last time you gave and received, gracefully?
When was the last time you forgave yourSelf and those who need forgiving?
When was the last time you responded flexibly to the imperfections of others?
When was the last time you initiated loving another, compassionately?
When was the last time you looked at the world through rose colored glasses, seeing everyone as deserving the best, equally?
When was the last time you felt your life had meaning?
When was the last time you were clear about your purpose, and had a purpose that included something larger than just daily living?
When was the last time you knew what made you hurt or angry?
When was the last time you could express your anger, calmly?
When was the last time you didn't feel you had to be the party clown?
When was the last time you didn't feel you had to cater to everybody to be worthy of loving?
When was the last time you felt life was a worthwhile adventure and you were the free bird taking off for exploration?
When was the last time you focused within and asked yourself what you felt was puzzling?

The list can go on forever. But these few are enough for now. If you are short of answering even one of these questions, you are not nurturing the Self within. That is how important it is to succeed in the business of Self before you can go on succeeding in the business of life. For the Self is what life is, and living is what the Self does, by merely being. You can choose to change any pattern from this moment on. You have taken the first step by acknowledging Self and beginning your process of Self Search. Your process can be a solo process as you become your own Self Programer, or it can involve another guide. If you choose to work with others, you may not agree with everything they say, just as I am sure you will not agree with everything in this book. I am a controversial person. But almost without exception I have found that those who have come to know their Self or have the courage or desire to, will find many messages I have formulated worth considering and focusing on. Only those intimidated by words of Self and Self Knowledge, who want control and power over others without much growth of their own try hard to find reasons for denial. If someone doesn't know how to see and demand their right then it is easy to take it away from them. There is no one worthwhile who can agree with everything about everyone. And there is no credible person who says everything that everyone will like. That is another key to success. You must be yourSelf, and words of wisdom or nurturance that stem from your inner beliefs and thoughts will touch others, or at least someone. Words that stem from clear Self are the golden path to universal truth. Words that stem from a confused person without a Self point us to universal evil. Thus, the path to yourSelf is the same path leading to universal truth. On this path, whatever you choose to do will be a success. Success means doing something well for others. And no one can do something well for others long enough if they don't know and have a solid foundation of Self.
Root to Success
Path to Spirituality
Self and Success. Self Search will give you Self, and I will be your guide on the path. Don't worry. I will also give you the ten commandments to success. I have been teaching these for years. But if you bear with my boundaryless vision that tries to simultaneously stay on earth and fly to the end of the universe, you will learn to do the same. It means absolute freedom of power and energy where you can be exactly where your vision wants you to be. I am a very practical, matter-of-fact and down-to-earth person who has a very deep philosophical and spiritual dimension. It helps to have a simple life that is meaningful and rich within. Yet comfort is bought with effort and societal success and it is a tool with which to enhance our connections. That is the easy part to attain in our journey and I promise that I will take you there. Fasten your seat belt, we are going to fly. But the take-off may be a bit rough. After all, we have been walking all our lives and are just learning how to flap our wings.
Self and Spiritual Excellence. Everything in life begins from within. The pain we go through in life in our process of searching for Self is the root to success and spirituality. There are no real or true answers that we can hang on to externally. The best guide can only teach you to find what you already possess within that may be temporarily lost or forgotten within a deep sleep. I too had to find my Universal Self. I too had it within, all along. But with all my sensitivity, I must say that there have been long periods when the Self within me was lost, forgotten, or in a deep sleep. I have shed tears as large as the ocean to cleanse my soul and to see clearly. Tears are the best healing tools anyone can offer; they are tools that come from within. They truly wash away the residue of pain and anguish. There have been times in my life when I felt like I was breaking. They still come and go once in a blue moon, yet I now know that I will survive even a hurricane. The more we can be flexible, let go and allow the waves to embrace us as tightly as they please, the more powerful, and the less hurt, bruised or dis-eased we become. The only thing that frightens me at this moment of history is the toxic power of ignorance and lack of Self Knowledge that threatens the survival of our great society and the future of our children and humanity. Although I have learned to remain objectively detached during my clinical training and at this time in my life I have no pain of my own, I still catch mySelf carrying the pain of the souls who are in silence, suffering. For as long as there is one person suffering in silence, there will be no victory for anyone, ultimately.
Thick Shells of Denial
In my work with individuals, when the thick shell of denial is destroying the person inside yet presenting a successful picture on the outside, I find mySelf gently but firmly guiding the person out of the Toxic Patterns of Need to Control that stem from fear of abandonment and rejection, while guiding the Self towards more power balanced, healthy and fulfilling patterns. However, at times of crisis when all family members are affected and their well-being and safety is at stake, a less process-focused approach, an immediate and painful break of denial by rocking the tower of unquestioned authority to save all concerned is taken.
Old patterns must be deleted from a life file in order for new, more progressive patterns to be copied and saved. Old patterns are there because new patterns have not been taught. People want change and are now willing to come out of their shells of denial, for they are in the tremendous pain of victimization stemming from the Power Imbalances of our society. The bully and the victim are both suffering, yet presenting their pain, differently. The resistance is nothing but fear and the lack of knowledge of what to do to create change. The more the fear, the thicker the wall of denial, the more the need for creating chaos before a true and lasting order can take its place. There is a shared denial that lies within the fact that chaos is presented in a false frame as "order."
I have never seen more chaos and absence of boundary in my life, under the name of democratic freedom and the rights of people, as leaders freely infringe upon other people's rights and privacy. Is this civilization, or are we falling downward into the chaotic times of the medieval ages? Who, in your analysis of our societal calamity, should take responsibility? The parents who are told what to do in their own bedrooms? The family that is dictated to about what will be? Or the child who seems enraged by it all and cannot live any longer in denial by acting happy and carefree? Or can we dare, once and for all, to search for the real roots to our problems of humanity? If we dare, perhaps we can help our children and family exist on some level of consistent societal harmony. And who knows, we might even be able to make a difference in our society and share the power on the path to advance humanity.
Both sides of Pendulum of Imbalance suffer. There is no true peace of mind for those who rape as well as for those who have been raped; for those who have abused as well as those who have been abused; and for those who have robbed as well those who have been robbed: of their privacy, of their sacred right to boundary, of their credibility, of their right to their body and mind, and of their right to Power Balance and equality. Again, the Patterns of Suffering are the same. The Patterns of presentation take different forms each time. Many times, in working with individuals and families, I must ignore the rejecting, careless, and arrogant omnipotence flashing on the surface of the person while the little neglected child is crying inside. I don't buy the old Patterns; I am not controlled or intimidated by them. Both sides of the pendulum suffer. We must find out how and why, so that we can put an end to this societally enabling toxicity that has spread its wings and cast a shadow over people's lives.
The Universal Law of
Power Balance
Power Balance within means when all the patterns we have inside, no matter how different, live in harmony side by side, and we don't have to deny one for the sake of nurturing another. Just like our relationships outside of ourSelf when abundance and prosperity for one must not cause victimization of the other, it is the same law in the relationship between our own inner patterns. For example, a calm and spiritual person can have a successful life without compromising her or his principles. Power Balance in relationships and families means to be heard, respected and accepted, equally, regardless of role or position in the relationship or family. And of course we can have a Power Balanced society in which all people are treated equally and can live next to one another in harmony.
The key to success is to adhere to this Universal Law of Power Balance: to nurture all that surrounds you, non-selectively and without monopoly, and to embrace and accept all of your Self without fearing knowledge or experience. The same law holds true for successful relationships and societies. All crisis stems from the turmoil we feel inside. From family crisis to the universal crisis we witness on the streets, it is caused by the imbalance of the power within us and in our society, and the imbalance of power causes chaos in the universe. I began teaching and training power balance therapy and pattern change programing twelve years ago for the purpose of creating power balance within individuals and in their connection with others within the framework of their relationships. I have raised my children with the law of wisdom and nurturance that I have learned from the Universal Parental Law from which I feel a constant embrace. It has not been easily achieved, as with any pattern of substance.
Within my own family, we reap the fruit of our labor. There are no occasions of Power Struggle because there is no need to fight for equal respect and power; it is an accepted right for all. Everyone's welfare, feelings and rights count, regardless of age, gender or authority. It has created miraculous harmony between us. I have made it a general pattern to give my children as much respect as my most honored colleagues and friends. Consequently, they respect themselves and respect me. I have watched people suffer within, relationships fall apart and families act like enemies while they cared about each other deeply. I was sensitive to the experiences of Imbalance within each person and the roots of those experiences. I was also sensitive to the imbalances that occurred in the relationships, and the root they stemmed from, which was always the Imbalance of Power: within themselves, with others, and with society.
I share the pain. I come from the people's pain and have shared the depth of Imbalances and Block Patterns of Life: a pain I not only understand, but also cherish. It has only been through my own pain and suffering that I have come close to those I love and to those who come to me with trust. We can never see through the flesh unless we have lost our own thick layers of skin. My life has never been easy, but I don't believe that anything of value ever comes easily. Anything of value needs nurturance and polish: that includes ourSelf, our relationships, and our family.
And I share the joy and mastery. I have reached a path in my life that I myself never imagined. I don't mean recognition or wealth; although I have had my share of both among colleagues and in my community. I mean a power balance where I feel both connected with my loved ones and whole within. Balance in life has always meant everything to me. It has been a lifetime search and it has become a miraculous reality. By balance, I don't mean the societal box of "normal" that at times seems the least of what the "norm" represents to me. I am referring to what the mind, body and spirit feels; from a little Persian girl to a woman who created her own destiny in a country where even the natives have a tough time succeeding as she experienced in her filed; a woman whose children are whole, yet connected to their family, with a mission of embracing humanity. I feels she has everything I need within, and have healed mySelf of the addictions, indulgences and dependencies my world had imposed upon me. My life joy after searching in the world with all its magnificent seductions is to walk to the beach and feel the sun above me and the sand beneath me. My ambition, after preparing a powerful groundwork of prosperity, is to die feeling that I have made a difference and to live with joy and dignity. For me, it was fighting for my choices and finally having them all, that brought me peace within and made an honest woman out of me. Or so I clearly believe.
Success and Spiritual Excellence
In my Seminars on Success and spiritual Excellence I teach the steps to Self-Program Power Balance and Excellence towards a Universal Self. As our own guides and Life Programers, we must learn to rise above Self Ignorance and experience the wisdom and nurturance we possess inherently within. We must work towards polishing our inherent forgotten patterns of strength before we take away the Adopted Patterns that over the centuries have been imposed on us. In my books entitled Self-Programer and Programing Excellence, I teach in detail how to become your own guiding light and that of your family and children. We must delete from the repertoire of our life file the adopted chains of victimization, dependency, addiction and need for authority so that we grow up, and not remain regressed children forever. As guides and spiritual leaders, if we truly believe in people, we must assist them, however we can, to find their true Universal Self through knowledge and not keep them as whims to soothe our own addictions and fulfill our secondary gains. We don't have to lie on the couch for thirteen years to find our Self, nor do we have to walk like zombies full of drugs and medicine. As much as we can learn from others' words of wisdom, we certainly won't learn about our Self and become independent in mind and action through focusing outside of ourselves and worshipping external golden and silver gods of our own illusion, or by becoming vulnerable to anyone who claims to have godlike patterns. We have already been given the gift of life by our universal powers and we need to begin to perform our tasks with the power of the mind and body connected with our spirit.
Pattern Interruption. Regard for the core of the person does not mean lying them on a couch for thirteen years and letting them wallow in their old Patterns while we dream about our own abundance pouring from the umbilical cord of their dependency. It simply means having enough regard for the core of the person to not play games or humiliate them out of their Patterns. It means, instead, simply to honor the core of who they are, and to interrupt their old, outdated and, in the case of today's societal crisis, the harmful and habitual familiarity directed to them by Societal Programing of imbalanced power and supremacy.
Finding the victim within the bully. For those who have spent a lifetime victimizing others, I would simply guide them to the victim within themselves. For it is that victim who is somewhere stuck, on the other side of the pendulum, acting like a bully, from fear of all over again becoming the feared.
Transformation of the forgotten Self. The bully we hold within us must see that the victimization is, indeed, the act of continuing to be a bully, not of becoming a whole person. Connecting with the vulnerable child as well as the strength within and accepting the forgotten and denied Self, the miraculous transformation and blossoming Universal Self emerges, enabling us to not only embrace ourSelf and those we love, but with a larger purpose outside of ourSelf we can embrace the injured patterns of humanity. Following is a simple generalization of the stages of Self-Programing:
A. Individual Balance. The purpose would initially be Individual Balance, which brings success in the material world and in relating with others, and teaches Preventive techniques to have crisis-free Life Patterns.
B. Power Balance of the individual and the universe. The next level is a higher level, and involves acquiring Power Balance, which is the balancing of all dimensions existing within, enabling one to see the inner and outer world clearly, and to transform the world one wants to live within, embraced by the inherent Power Balance of the mind, body and spirit, transcended, by the powerful method, tools and techniques of Pattern Change Programing.
C. Spiritual Excellence and Universal Embrace. Excellence is the collective of all Patterns in Power Balance, merged with Universal Wisdom and Nurturance. It is the Ultimate Formula for Existence in joy, mastery, happiness, peace and abundance of prosperity. It is reaching the point and process wherein the individual is no longer traveling towards a personal journey, but towards a larger mission, with the intent and purpose of changing the downward direction of humanity upward and towards progression of universal peace and prosperity. I believe that when we reach wholeness within, we are embraced by the paternal and maternal power of the universe and become a whole part to the ultimate wholeness that is embracing us, within. And that is another Universal Law of Success and Spiritual Excellence.