Book recommendation: author Rose Parvin-in The California Therapist Mag. July-Aug 1995
Book #1 Pattern Change Programing, Creating Your Own Destiny; An Evo - Revolutionary Psycho - Spirituality of Being. Author: Rose Assier Parvin, A Reformed Western Psychotherapist copyright 1994 CIP#94-23106 ISBN 1-885917-007 - 5 3/8 X 8 1/2 Hard cover, 768 pages, Glossary, Index, $40
This groundbreaking book has become the Bible of Psychology and is implemented throughout the world for change toward peace and reform
In this book Rose Parvin unleashes a new dimension in psychology; an evo-revolutiuonary psycho spirituality of being. She provides a new vision and wisdom as the answer to universal crisis and problem of humanity, and guides us toward a path of being that will create an abundance of Success-Spiritual Excellence. Societal Power Balance and harmonious every day living.
The theme is aimed at Knowledge of Self and our Inherent Potential Power, the Miracle of Self and Rocking the Tower of Authority by breaking the silent crime, Societal Corruption and its promotion of patterns of powerlessness, helplessness, addiction and dependency.
Through her vividly narrated tales, depth of philosophical wisdom and miracle of scientific tools, Parvin's revolutionary brief method of Pattern Change Programing and multidimensional evolutionary theory of Power Balance creates the Path of Guidance to a Universal Self with abundance of Success-Spiritual Excellence, Societal/Global Peace, Unity and Universal Harmony.
Other 8 groundbreaking books are derived from this deep, yet miraculously demystified guide for Life Patterns of Prevention, Power Balance and Excellence.
Book#5 Humanity Held Hostage copyright 1994 CIP # 95130 ISBN -1-88 59 17-04-X-5 1/2 X 8 1/2 perfectbind, 288 pages, Glossary, $15
In this awakening book, Rose becomes the third eye of the nation and analyzes the core of problems of humanity, the destructive, outdated fast-cure solutions that lead to further addiction and dependency, and announces the society and its leaders as The Patient mental health should focus on healing.
" We are living in a history - making time where never before People Power and their voice was so significant in changing the oppressive and regressive Patterns of Society. By the mere Recognition or Denial of our Inherent Potential Power and the patterns we choose to change, we the people can create the rise of Hitlers or the birth of prophecy repeated in history: of those who will lead us to the destruction of the human race or those who will enlighten the Universal Path of Global Peace and harmony. As a therapist, I empathize with the oppressive patterns of being a minority, of once swinging back to majority, tendering to become inappropriately aggressive; as many Republicans are experiencing. However, I think that leaders experiencing such patterns are not suitable or safe, and perhaps ought to step down until they gain appropriate objectivity and balance to qualify for leadership."
Book # 9 Pattern Changes; Universal Laws of Success & Spiritual Excellence 5 3/8 X 8 1/2, perfectbind, 288 p. Glossary, $15
We can live powerful, successful lives while maintaining spirituality. Our Life Patterns must be in harmony with the Universal Patterns and Laws of Power Balance of Success-Spiritual Excellence, otherwise no matter how hard we work, we will live a life of crisis and calamity. There is no person who can live without the Laws of Wisdom and Nurturance provided by the universe, and there is no rule on earth that prevents us from living spiritually excelled lives while succeeding.
This miraculously demystified book presents an evo-revolutionary vision that empowers the forgotten Self, creates an Institution of Self, brings us closer to one another through a larger purpose beyond the Self and guides us toward the universal power of wisdom and nurturance that embargoes us all as equal children of humanity.
There is no meaningful success or true spiritual conquest without a Self that is whole within, and connected without. " True success lies heavily upon the Power Balance of dimensions and shades of all essence I call Patterns, that enable any individual or nation to succeed & prosper societally, without compromising inner hymns of wisdom to nurture the progressions of self & the soul of humanity."
Book 2 - Answer to Humanity;Reclaiming Individual Power and Dignity
" far too many times, I have bared witness to the existential pain and anger of an alienated Self, terrorized by the institutional corruption, rigidity and lack of tolerance for differentess. In a societal crisis and chaos of children killing children, the true underlying cause of the problems of being human is the Power Imbalance caused by the lack of regard for the Self. By Pattern Change Programing as a brief therapy and scientific tool to Power Balance Theory, we can create Psycho - Universal Spirituality and a Universal Self: a Self free from the addictive, habitual Toxic Life Patterns, destructive fast cures and rigid rules and limitations; a Self governed by an inner code of ethics and universal laws which transcend a solid seal of non-selective compassion among the people and create an Excellence Programed Society." " Compassion is a flower of peace and harmony which tends to grow only from the tree of Self Knowledge. Under the tree of Self Knowledge we can find the fruit of Self Power. Where there is Self Power, hate, judgment and prejudice are the intruding weeds taken out by the gardener; the one who waters the flowers; the one who watches for the children, as a third eye, from above the garden."
Book # 3 Power Balance Therapy & Pattern Change Programing " The balancing of powers in any given environment creates harmony as a Natural Life Patterns, whether it is a within the Self Patterns or between the Self Patterns and its surrounding environment: a relationship, a family or between the people and their leadership in a society. Power Balance Therapy is a linear and universal path barring societal success and spiritual excellence by the process of unfolding the multi-dimensions and Patterns of Self to the ultimate core if its substance. The Universal Laws of Power Balance flow within and among all of its parts, connecting them with one another. The Self computer ( the mind) where Self Knowledge is power, we utilize the tools of Pattern Change Programing to delete Imbalances, Block Toxic Patterns and Save Power Balance and Excellence Patterns. By Programing Choice Patterns we become Destiny Makers and Change Makers of the Family and Societal Patterns, leaping beyond health to Psychology of Excellence. Where there is balance of powers, there is harmony. Where the air is filled with the essence of harmony, there is no room left for the toxins of crisis."
Book #4 Programing Excellence; Self Power Balance
"Programing Excellence is an Excellence and Solution Focused brief therapy: an advanced dimension of Pattern Change Programing. Excellence is a process where an individual, a relationship, a family or a society is in a constant Evo-revolutionary search to evolve to the ultimate degree of being. It is a revolutionary path that prevents stagnation in humanity and promises eternal happiness, peace unity and abundance of prosperity. Excellence Programed individuals with philosophical depth of Universal Self and scientific Self Knowledge use tools of Pattern Change to Create, Delete or Save their Life Patterns through Pattern Analysis, Pattern Inventory, Deductive Reasoning, and Final Analysis. Change is inevitable. It is the choice of our direction which enables us to predict and program our own future, determine our own destiny and have the power to change the Patterns of Harmony. Excel in yourself and you excel in the world and the universal evergreen of life that flows, miraculously. Some of the tools of Self Excellence are Self Expression and Mind-Body-Spirit Prayer, where the silent dances of the spirit and the movements of the body to the hymns of the self, create collective universal Power Balance beyond healing." "We tend to become far too preoccupied with the need to control and perfection in our lives. Our society teaches us how to crawl, how to run and how to escape. But we are all capable of flying. And that is what I guide you to do best, in this new revolutionary psychology, Psychology of Excellence."
Book #6 Preventive Family Therapy Family Patterns of Change Preventive Family Therapy sees all relationships as cross cultural. Within our own families we have cross cultural differences. No two people are alike; parents and adolescents husbands and wives, not even twin sisters. To the degree that we can look at each other and instead of strange, black Jewish, Iranian Italian, Moslem or Christian we only see " different" and to the degree that we can accept this differentness with compassion and grace, we have learned to accept our Self, our families and society. Preventive Family Therapy is an introduction to Psychology of Excellence where Self Search and Family Analysis results in Family Patterns of Change toward Power Balance creating a linear path of health, success-excellence within families, societies and nations as one Universal Family. The answer to the individual, familial, societal and global crisis is Self-knowledge and the Solid Seal of Non-Selective Compassion that nurtures the core of Self and preserves individual dignity. Where there is Family Power Balance, Patterns of Imbalance are deleted and Patterns of Excellence are created: Patterns of Compassion, Self Discipline and an inner code of ethics that breeds Universal Dignity; may it be among the parents and children or presidents of different countries, becoming responsible role-models for others. Family Ritual of Mind-Body-Prayer is a tool of Pattern Change Programing that changes the Patterns of Family Power Struggle to Family Power Balance and Excellence where parents and children dance to their inner hymns and fly together with love and compassion.
Book # 7 Beyond Patterns; The Psychology of Health and Excellence Psychology of Health and Excellence challenges the mental health profession to a change of patterns: to focus away from disease and dependency and move toward health and excellence. When we look beyond patterns we learn to embrace the society as the patient in need of healing and see the individual and family diagnosis and labels as the effect of the cause: an imbalanced society that needs, encourages and creates addiction and dependency. Although genetic differences among the people is real, it is the society that breeds Hitlers or determines whom to call Mozart and whom to diagnose as an incurable schizophrenic. Through in-depth philosophical theory of Power Balance and demystified scientific tools of Pattern Change Programing we can change life patterns from imbalance to excellence within the Self in our family and society. By entering the world of those who experience pain, Power Block or Power Struggle, we can create Pattern Transfer we can transform powerlessness and imbalance patterns to Power Balance and Cognition-Emotion Action. By believing in people's inherent Self Power we can change the Patterns of Illusion, Delusion or Hallucinations to Excellence Patterns of Self-discipline, Self Control, creativity and Self Expression.
Book # 8 Self Programer; The Psychology of Destiny Making We are the makers of our own destiny. We can become our own Self Programer and guide our children and family. We can We can change our Life Patterns from that of a Forgotten, Feared, Adopted Self who has lived life only as programed by others, to a Chosen Self free from the Societal Chain Effect of Victimization. We can move beyond the previous limitations, own the Patterns of Inner Ethics-Freedom-Responsibility, rock the tower of authority with our scientific analysis and questions and creates a Self Institution. The Forgotten Self is the sinned Self according to religious myths: the one that sees, feels, desires, hopes,wishes, and wants but cannot have. Having been told that we must be selfless to be spiritual, our true Self suffers, becomes alienated, oppressed, obedient, rebellious or forgotten. Through Self Search, Inventory and Analysis anyone can delete their Crisis Patterns, shed the adopted self imposed upon us by our past programers and choose patterns of prevention and excellence and a universal self, a self free from the societal dependency and patterns of mind-body Distortion and Addiction. Self Programer is a guide to Self Love, Self Healing, Self Excellence and Self Embrace.
The Parvin Way - The truth never changes. People change to see it.
Pattern Change Programing; ( taken from cover of the book Pattern Change Programing- copyright - 1994); a brief Self Therapy with focus on solution, health, success and excellence in family and society; a process of Self-Search, Self Analysis, Self Inventory, Self Recognition and Discovery creating Self Knowledge, Self Programing and Change of Patterns, resulting in Power Balance: advanced and harmonious balance in patterns of being, barring societal success & spiritual excellence.
Rose Parvin has combined the wisdom of endless experience from years of working with people in psychotherapy, ancient philosophy of the East and cutting edge Western scientific tools and has emerged as pioneer of a miraculous technology and method of creating Self Institution: method of Pattern Change Programing; a universal path of power balance and excellence that revolutionizes the patterns of the family and society and changes the downward direction of humanity.
In this groundbreaking new book, author and internationally sought after guide, Rose Assier Parvin denounces the people-abuse by societal institutions, claims imbalance of power as the root to universal victimization and crisis and sees the society and its leadership as " the patient" in need of healing. She then gives us demystified scientific tools to change habitual, addictive patterns we have adopted from our past programers, and outlines a new path of being and existing in the world, Self governed by universal laws and inner code of ethics. By learning, practicing and sharing this powerful method of Power Balance within and without, we embrace our own inner Excellence, create it in our society, connect with those we love, and the Universal Power Balance existing compassionately in the air we breathe.
Mind-Body Prayer is one of the tools of Pattern Change with harmonious movement of all dimensions of Self. It embraces inherent power of the Self, towards change, demands choice, breathes excellence and creates patterns of destiny.
About the author: Rose (Assier) Alizadeh Parvin, ( taken from cover of the book Pattern Change Programing- copyright - 1994) author of nine groundbreaking books in one year, is on a lifetime mission to create patterns of change towards health, peace, success and spiritual excellence in families and society with her revolutionary methods and evolutionary vision beyond psychology. Rose Way is the way of life in all self and life dimensions . Mother of two children ages 21 (Ellie-Elhaum)& 17 (Shaun-Shaheen), an international guide, consultant, speaker and family therapist and graduate of Chapman and California State Long Beach Universities. As the founder and director of Parvin Center for Patterns of Excellence in Newport Beach and Beverly Hills for thirteen years she has taught, trained and guided many with her wisdom, compassion and her revolutionary methods of healing and excelling.
Parvin Programs for Excellence
Program for Success - Spiritual Excellence. Becoming a Self Programer.
Becoming Community Pattern Change Specialist.
Professional Training for Excellence. Becoming a Spiritual Guide and Teacher.
For information contact: Rose Parvin at (949) 887-2127 or WWW.parvinprophecy.com, or e-mail email@example.com, or
Universal Publishing Co.: P.O. Box 15424, Newport Beach, CA 92659
Scientific predictions and preventive measures I wrote on a calling seven years ago in my book titled Pattern Change Programing, Creating Your Own Destiny; an evo-revolutionary psycho-spirituality of Being. (p208-Author;Rose Assier Parvin. Copyright 1994)- This country and the world is reborn as a result of my Scientific Analysis as a third eye; independent of every and any influence with a clear mind and a knowledge driven from experiences of a multidimensional being whose awareness and knowledge goes beyond what can been seen and is popular to see in this moment and time. In this book, as always, I am a Balancer and was tough at the time on the Republican party of the most democratic country, my second home. The result is seen as President Clinton was elected the second time and President Bush was elected having been influenced by my Global Power Balance and Peace and Reform Program which a part of it was to create Power Balance in the US Senate creating a new Politics; the Politics of truth, good intent and service to people which leads to Global People Power with clear people who know who they are, what they are doing in politicos and are there for what purpose other then self interest. And so it is. The world's New Politics and New World Order is implementation of my Peace Program while my Peace Program is hijacked and new war has interrupted it. Had it not been for seven years of Global Leadership Excellence and Power Balance Program the world would have been destroyed. Today, in spite of all the Global Crisis, Power Balance and Poet Making is taking place and the world and the UN is born again.
The Mother Theory -Assumptions and principals: Societal Dimension Chapter 4 -
Making of the dream of Freedom and Liberty. True freedom and liberty needs all people on its side. On the same token, Western culture must become aware of the gifts of wisdom and the enlightened nature of its guests who have left their own comfortable homes to become a part of the making of the dream of freedom and liberty. It was all of us who built America, and it belongs to us all, without discrimination, the ignorance that brings greed and the need for exclusive power, war and hostility.
Power Balance of Cultures. Understanding the true meaning of life comes from balancing the depth offered by the Eastern philosophies, and its adaptation into life with the scientific tools of the West. There is no reason not to live a successful, prosperous and joyful life with the depth and meaning that only comes from introspection and fasting from the indulgences that corrupt our minds.
The war of cultures must stop. People who come to this country must appreciate the opportunities which expose them to the practical dimensions of Western society, and its hospitality as a host who has opened her arms to all people of the world. They must welcome the opportunity, and know that they are here to mingle and adapt to the universal languages and customs that can only bring them a deeper connection with their own inner complexity.
Differentness Program. The Power Balance theory and its application, Pattern Change Programing, is not about looking at people with predisposition and preconceived ideas. Each and every individual is unique, and as it is crucial to experience differentness, it is equally significant to make efforts towards preserving one's original Patterns of Strength and Uniqueness.
2/1/2002-There is imbalance in any culture or belief. We must find balance within ourselves. True freedom comes when we have experienced the ability to be free from the need for appearances of freedom that compromise its development in a true sense. (p245-Pattern Change Programing, Creating Your Own Destiny; an evo-revolutionary psycho-spirituality of Being. Author;Rose Assier Parvin. Copyright1994.
Industry leaders' societal responsibility. As with cases of all other societal Programing, the burden of responsibility for the effect of Programing the society has been ignored and denied by the great leaders of industry. Daily, men and women go through severe changes of Life Patterns because of the suggestions of giant leaders of society. After the masses have passed Programing Blocks of parents, schools, teachers, religions and politics ignoring the heavy marketing and persuasive entrepreneurial task: especially for the youth our impressionable innocent souls who see themselves in practically everything that is put before them. (p354-Pattern Change Programing, Creating Your Own Destiny; an evo-revolutionary psycho-spirituality of Being. Author;Rose Assier Parvin. Copyright1994)
Book # 1 Patter Change Programing, Creating Your Own Destiny
an Evo-Revolutionary Psycho-Spirituality of Being- author, Rose Assier Parvin-A reformed Western Psychotherapist. Copyright-1994( note Programing is also correct with one m-it is only written different)
Universal Leadership Program. Leaders won't lose power by giving freedom and responsibility to the people, they will gain true power. They need not lose power once they relinquish control and allow freedom to people. They can have power in a higher and more meaningful sense, as leaders of a progressive society, where leadership requires patterns and skills existing in transcended and excelled individuals of not only intelligence, but also of personal ethical responsibility, honor and integrity.(Page 241- Pattern Change Programing, Creating Your Own Destiny-an Evo-Revolutionary Psycho-Spirituality of Being- author, Rose Assier Parvin-A reformed Western Psychotherapist. Copyright-1994
No Time to beat around the Bush- The danger that has been threatening the entire world and specifically our country is increasing each and every moment, creating a responsibility for everyone who is aware. The burden of responsibility is on those who are capable of creating and extending appropriate ethical boundary, to step out of their own shell of expertise, to address and hopefully prevent the global calamity. (Page 240- Pattern Change Programing, Creating Your Own Destiny-an Evo-Revolutionary Psycho- Spirituality of Being- author, Rose Assier Parvin-A reformed Western Psychotherapist.
to Power Balance - derived from the book #1 titled Pattern Change Programing Creating Your Own Destiny, an Evo-Revolutionary Psycho-Spirituality of Being. (Ch.4), author, Rose assier Parvin-copyright - 1994-
When the spirit of world was dead. When the world was a chaos and children were killing children, parents were orphan of the society and no one was thinking about people, and at a time in a free democratic country there was no meaning of freedom but chaos that infringed upon the freedom of others let alone the rest of the world, I wrote nine books in one year on a calling from within derived from my life experience of healing people and the fire of an all knowing wisdom pouring out of me. Today, from the United Nations to United States, White House, to the Marble Palace and Vatican are adhering to my Power Balance laws, knowing that true power comes from Internal Universal Laws within. The laws of Moses, Mohammed, Jesus and God. They all had one spirit:The Holy Spirit.
Power Balance is the Mother Theory that has many other theories embedded within it. It is multidimensional in its approach to create Individual Patterns of Excellence within and without. Its application is Pattern Change Programing, where the scientific and miraculously demystified techniques are applied to create calculated results and answers to the complex philosophy of Power Balance and problems of humanity stemming from absence of Balance of Powers and equality of Patterns, within the individuals, in the society, and humanity as a whole.
Examples. I will describe a few dimensions of Balance of Powers, in order to process its clarity. These examples are only some in a series of processes and techniques in my Seminars on Patterns of Excellence.
Power Balance of the Success-Excellence (Spirituality). The Power Balance of material Success and Excellence in humanity is a linear process. I believe that until one has choices to satisfy one's basic needs and dreams of success and progression, the ultimate process of Excellence will not be an honest and meaningful one. Likewise, without satisfying the basic needs of safety and hunger, one cannot move towards finer aspects of Self. It is very easy for people to say that they don't want fame and fortune if they don't know how to obtain it. When they gain the options to fulfill any dream they want, and then decide otherwise, they have made a true choice. But not having had the options and rejecting materialism self-righteously, feeling envy inside, is a Pattern of Denial that hurts the person as well as others who happen to be around the toxicity it creates. It is much like wealthy leaders of institutions supported by those who preach materialism is a "sin". Not the absence of presentation of a pattern while hiding it somewhere in the corners of our subconscious mind, or coming out with it in the dark of the night, but it is the clear lack of the need for it within, that is significant to our wholeness and Self clarity. We can pretend to have a clear self for a while but we cannot hide forever from our alienated self who will rebel if we hide behind the hat of success, unless we truly search within.
Material success and/or an altruistic purpose? The options must be created for an honest choice. The process of Excellence begins when an individual has satisfied both basic physical needs, basic psychological needs and basic emotional needs. Among those basic needs lies the need to succeed in a material world. The cost becomes evident when one has a choice between material success or an altruistic purpose. To obtain both, is a fine art and scientific endeavor that becomes the purpose of Pattern Change Programing.
Societal Success: prerequisite for Excellence. In the process of Pattern Change Programing, Societal Success is a prerequisite for achieving Excellence in humanity. The process of achieving material success teaches us dimensions of our Self that are unknown to others. The choices we make in life, after many things we have dreamed of have been made available to us, are choices of our true Self. What we learn about Self in interaction with others when our benefit or loss is at stake, is a statement of our integrity. What we are willing to do when a great deal of our effort and fruit of our labor is at stake, determines our true substance and capacity as a person.
Power Balance of Power-Honesty. I do not mean that becoming a victim is being a good person. Many people who seem kind on the surface and willingly self-sacrifice, have been detrimental to the welfare of many people's lives. Patterns of Honesty, and its development within ourselves protects others from our Imbalances Such honesty comes from reaping the fruits of our labor, asserting our rights to what we deserve, and thus appreciating the hard work and the rights of others.
Power Balance of Assertion-Compassion. This is when we learn how to assert ourselves by standing up for what is rightfully ours, and are at the same time sensitive to the rights of others. It is crucial not only to our inner balance, but to the balance in our world, to relate to our inner Self while connecting with others. Meaning, do unto others what you want done unto you. When the Power Imbalance is in the other direction, we are treating others better than we treat ourselves or our loved one's. We must assume at all times that when we are relating to our Self or loved ones, we are indeed relating to our best friends.
Power Balance of Reciprocal Sensitivity. This occurs when we feel the pain of having been victimized, yet feel clear enough to do something about it. It is when, just as powerfully as we feel victimization, we also feel the pain we have inflicted upon others. Nothing is more hypocritical than a person who is offended by everyone's rejection, and rejects others without even noticing.
It is different from inflicting pain upon an entity or an institution that holds unquestioned imbalanced power, thus the only way of reaching its denial is attempting to rock its authoritative tower. It is when one chooses other innocent victims to inflict pain upon: pain felt in a past that has remained unrecognized, and thus unhealed.
Power Balance of Freedom and Responsibility. This sacred Pattern is only developed when we are given the power to act, the freedom to choose, and the responsibility to sit back and analyze the consequences of our actions in relation to ourselves and to others. Freedom is only a true Life Pattern and more than an illusive denial, after we first master the Pattern of Responsibility.
Power Balance of Goal-Process Orientation. When a person has Goal-Oriented Patterns, she or he has embedded within the actual presentation of being a goal-oriented person, other thought processes that result in an end-product of goal orientation.
Patterns of Goal Orientation. This means the person is focused, self-disciplined, self-confident, clear about long-term dreams of life, able to selectively choose activities and is willing to pay the price.
Patterns of Process Orientation. An individual with Process Oriented abilities has no boundaries of time, place, or goal; she or he simply processes life events and feelings. Like a channel for life, the person has no specific agenda but to enjoy life.
Lack of Power Balance: one-dimensionality. As wonderful as each of these Patterns are, there are times when a Process-Oriented person becomes lost in life without a goal, or a Goal-Oriented person gets too wrapped up in goals without processing their meaning. I will explore this in detail in the Chapter Eight, Patterns of Being. But what is important to note here, is that in being only goal-oriented or only process-oriented, one misses out on an entire dimension of Self. Without Power Balance we are only one-dimensional. To say "I just don't like to be scattered," and reject the process orientation altogether, will only rob one from experiencing the world of innovativeness and creativity that can only exist in a process-oriented mind.
Imbalanced: rejecting a dimension of Self. To reject a Goal Orientation Pattern by justifying that life is too meaningless to be serious about it, will only rob us of the miracles that exist in the life of a person who learns how to develop a focused mind. Rejecting any dimension of ourselves will leave us Imbalanced.
When powers come together in harmony, we can do anything. We can have our cake and eat it, too. We can be joyful and happy, loving life with all the passion there is, while having short-term and long-term goals towards creating our own destinies. Many times, people get stuck in Patterns that are one-dimensional and create lopsidedness everywhere in their lives. Although they are intelligent and work hard, they end up feeling cheated in one way or another by not paying attention, nurturing all of themselves, and feeling whole.
Nothing wrong with having it all. What would be wrong with having it all if you could enjoy, create, gain mastery, give, receive, produce, and make a difference in one life span? When we learn about all of the dimensions within ourselves and in the scientific world around us, we learn to embrace life with all that it has to give us, without holding back a part of it. That is what I call Power Balance.
Societal Programing for Single-Dimensionality. We live in perfectionist, rigid and one-dimensional societies in which we are taught to choose one way or another. As a result, we are left with a lifelong denial of our totality.
Societal Programing for Imbalance. We are told that we cannot be one thing if we decide to be another. To be a woman, we cannot be strong. To be a real man, we cannot be vulnerable. To be a good person, we cannot have our own dreams. In order to gain material success, we cannot be kind, compassionate and spiritual. To be good partners and love, we cannot have ourselves; self-sacrifice is the true sign of love.
Societal rigidity creating rebellion. Rigidity and rules have confused the world. Everyone is angry for being put in a golden cage of society, being labeled with only a part of them being acknowledged. I know how it feels; I lived one-dimensionally, almost half of my life, and have worked with many who have experienced the same tragedy. The world is rebelling against it, even when it hurts to rebel. Throughout centuries, people have rebelled against the demands from the empty shell of Righteousness. Without clear choice of Self there is no peace and wholeness in humanity, only the presentation of pseudo order, before chaos.
Power Imbalance, Block, Balance, and Excellence. These are the Programs that can be chosen by individuals or adopted without conscious choice. Although the Balance, Power Balance, and Excellence Programs require conscious choice, the Imbalance and Block Programs are most often adopted without conscious knowledge. I am sure that no one chooses to feel like a failure in life, to lose all that he or she has worked so hard for, to feel disconnected and alienated even in a crowd of friends and loved ones, to be hateful towards others, to be prejudiced, or to judge and control the world and ignore looking within. All of these Imbalance Patterns are adopted by people as a result of Past Programing, or the lack of Self-knowledge, and of the influence of the Programers of their lives.
Imbalance of Power among the people. We must not forget the Societal Imbalance of Power amongst the people themselves. Some are called followers and some are called leaders. Imbalance is created by the position of power that is not appropriately divided, and Imbalances are created by societal leadership's abuse of their power given to them by the people. Whenever there is Imbalance, there is victimization, oppression, idealization and thus relinquishment of responsibility, corruption, crime and war.
Societal Power Balance. Societal Power Balance is when there is equal regard for the core of each and every person and what separates them is only the given task, not inappropriate power and control over their life paths. People are given equal knowledge and equal opportunity to have equal life choices. The fear of authority is not a motivating factor to do the right thing, but individual responsibility and integrity is. People are color blind, differentness of belief and political preference is optional and compassion laden. This is my definition of a free society where people experience Societal Power Balance: inner harmony within and without. Societal Power Balance can only exist in a free society and a free society cannot maintain its freedom without its power balance.
The Ultimate Formula of Balance. The Power Balance theory is based on the ultimate formula for health, balance and congruity within Self, with others and within the environment. Harmony, within the individual and between individual and the environment surrounding the Self, is seen as the natural formula of existence. As the universe has Power Balance between and amongst all its parts, as a Natural Universal Law, the same law holds true for the Individual as Part of the Universal Whole (the sum of the parts of a whole contain the same characteristics of the whole, and vice versa: systems theory.)
The Roots of Power Balance.
Power Balance: individuals, families, society. When I began teaching and training Power Balance Theory and Pattern Change Programing, its purpose was to achieve Power Balance within individuals and in their connection with other individuals within the framework of their relationships. I was sensitive to the experiences of Imbalance within each person and the roots of those experiences. I was also sensitive to the Imbalances that occurred in relationships, and the Roots they stemmed from, which was always the Imbalance of Powers: within themselves, with others, and with society.
I share the pain. My success in my work has been from the fact that I come from the people's pain and have shared the depth of the Imbalances and Block Patterns of Life, a pain I not only understand, but also respect.
I share the Power Balance of mastery and joy. I also come from a Power Balance within that has enabled me to change those Imbalances, replacing them with strength and Excelling Patterns that will remain within me for the rest of my life, embracing me with the multidimensions of a clear and Universal Self and a path of life with a constant process of joy and mastery. I respect the strength embedded within each and every person as well as the fragility that folds them within a thin shell. I have learned theories and tools that have served me, and many others whom I have guided through such a path, coming out of the painful and tragic victimization of lack of Knowledge of Self, gaining a Universal Self Power Balance traveling through the path of Excellence. Self Power Balance is the knowledge of the problem and the solutions that will give you the joy of peace from prevention and the mastery of progression.
No limitation of prejudice. In my work with people, there has never been a question of prejudice or limitation as far as my acceptance of other's belief systems. Everyone's beliefs, just as the core of the person, are sacred to me. When a process of Pattern Change has been completed I have received positive feedback from everyone I have connected with. This feedback has always been most rewarding to me. Neither my Self nor anyone should decide upon a belief system for others. The individual will choose the right path for their Self once they connect with their own power and gain a Universal Self free from the dependencies put upon them, and chooses a path of independence of thought and of action, regardless of the position in which they remain. It saddens me more than it frightens me, however, when I watch democratic officials merged with prejudices, biases, and Time-Inappropriate limitations of dogmatic religion, evaluating and judging and even discrediting democratically elected leaders based upon interpretations that seem against a democratic constitution.
The truth of people beyond all beliefs. People have come to me by the referral of others and yet skeptical since I am not Christian, Jewish, or even Moslem, if defined by religious myths. However, they all find me an individual with a clear Self that they can trust and confide in. Many people tell me at the end that they feel more confirmed with their spirituality and feel more, as some put it, Christ-like than before they began working with me. The key is because I only try to help them get closer to the core of their Self. I don't try to change or even challenge their beliefs; I only help them find the truth of themselves beyond and above all beliefs.
Power Balance of two cultures. I have had a Power Balance of several cultures. Twenty-three years of my life and schooling have been in the United States. For the other half, I lived in an oppressive culture where Familial and Societal Imbalances were a way of life, and the denial of it all was the people's pastime. We have seen what has happened to cultures that with all their history have not allowed openness, choice, or equality for their people. The rise and the fall of Persian empire, as an example, is no secret to any well-read society. Ironically, the roots of my culture, the old Persian Empire, which was once the dominant and model country of the world, not the chaotic and fanatic religious anarchy that it is today (explained in Chapter Five, Multidimensionality), come from abundance of power and integrity of its people.
Globally shared causes of success-failure. That was the secret to its universal recognition as the giant of all nations. The same principle of people-power was behind the success and the rebirth of Germany after the tragic victimization by Hitler, and the same principle caused the successful making of our own democratic and role-model country.
People Power: key to success of any nation. The cream of the crop of all of the courageous and risk-taking nations got together to put an end to bureaucracy, fanaticism, and limitations of class hierarchy. Having had the luxury of exposure to several cultures that seem to clash with each other on the surface, I have recognized an invaluable truth; with all of the differences throughout the world, the causes of rise and fall are identical, as people and as nations.
Mock Programing of success-excellence. I believe, from personal and professional experience, that any country or nation that wants everlasting abundance and prosperity must go back to its roots and give back the power and dignity to its people. In return, the people must let go of their own handed-down Patterns of Addictive Indulgence and relinquishment of responsibility to the man-made and golden gods of society who manipulate their destiny for their own personal power and greed. People must focus on personal responsibility in order to rebuild society and gain back the rights to their freedom again, with the strong foundation of compassion, decency, honor and dignity for all.
The root of any person or nation. The root is not in the language or culture; it is in the common core of inherent individual power and dignity. Only when we recognize that we carry our roots with us wherever we travel, and in whichever language we speak, can we begin to appreciate, respect and nurture everywhere as our home for inner peace and serenity. The walls are down geographically, but in order to tear down the walls of our hearts to others, we must begin to appreciate and respect the core of all people and embrace them as members of our extended family.
Free society selling oppression, discrimination. In the midst of civilization and freedom, we live in a society that advocates, encourages, nurtures, promotes and sells oppression, dependency, denial, and discrimination in every city with neon lights. The bars sell poison, the stores sell guns, and the churches sell tickets to heaven only to a chosen few, while the politicians, mistaken for preachers, take away constitutional rights of the people who voted for them, not by law, but in the name of God: the unquestionable myth. What is at stake? Universal freedom. Freedom we traveled to moon for, freedom we all have fought for: the foundation from which we built America.
America is being watched and modeled after. America, with its once-earned label as the model nation, is being watched and modeled after. It is no surprise to anyone if I say that ninety percent of the world is following its footsteps, and are either drowning in the sea of denial or freezing in the cold chill of war within themselves and between each other. It is enough chaos to create Imbalance in any person or nation. The ones who recognize America's Regressive Patterns, and try to get help or change it, are strong enough, courageous enough, and intelligent enough to rock its Pattern of Regressive and oppressive tower of idealization and denial, in their minds and in their lives.
Pattern Change: breaking out of denial. In my work with individuals, when the thick shell of denial is destroying the person inside while presenting a successful picture on the outside, I find my Self gently but firmly guiding the person out of Toxic Pattern of the need to control that stems from fear of abandonment and rejection, while guiding the Self towards more Power Balanced, healthy and fulfilling Patterns. However, at times of crisis when all family members are affected and their well-being and safety is at stake, a less Process-Oriented approach, an immediate painful break of the denial by rocking the tower of unquestioned authority in order to save all concerned in the family, is taken.
Rude awakening of the giants. The same rule applies for a society in need of change. There is no time for a nurturing process of Power Balance, for the lives of people and the survival of humanity is at stake. Power Balance in a state of crisis, as we experience in our streets today, is only achievable by a rude awakening of the giants who prosper on the blood of our children: the future of humanity. It is up to the mental health professionals and their leadership to begin mass producing the Knowledge of Self not only to the people, but also to the leaders of society. Only through the clarity of Self, or at least the clarity of those who are around an Imbalanced Self, can we put an end to this epitome of mind-body-spirit toxicity.
Thick shells of denial. The old Patterns must be deleted in order for the new, more progressive and nurturing patterns to blossom. The old Patterns are only there because new Patterns have not been taught. People want change and are now willing to come out of their shells of denial, for they are in tremendous pain of victimization stemming from the Power Imbalances of society. The bully and the victim are both suffering, yet presenting it differently. The resistance is nothing but fear and the lack of knowledge of what to do to create change. The more the fear, the thicker the wall of denial, the more the need for creating chaos before a true and lasting order can take its place. For there is a shared denial that lies within the fact that chaos is presented in a false frame as "order". I have never seen more chaos and absence of boundary in my life, under the name of democratic freedom and the rights of people freely infringing upon the other people's rights and privacy. Is this civilization, my friends, or are we falling downward into the chaotic times of the medieval ages? Who, in your analysis of our societal calamity, should take responsibility? The parents who are told what to do in their own bedrooms? The family that is dictated to about what will be? Or the child who seems enraged by it all and cannot live any longer in denial by acting happy and carefree? Or can we dare, once and for all, to search for the real roots to all our problems of humanity? If we dare, perhaps we can help our children and family to exist in some level of consistent societal harmony.
Both sides of Pendulum of Imbalance suffer. There is no true peace of mind for those who rape as well as for those who have been raped; for those who have abused as well as those who have been abused; and for those who have been robbed as well those who have robbed: of their privacy, of their sacred right to boundary, of their credibility, of rights to their body and minds, and of their rights to Power Balance and equality. Again, the Patterns of Suffering are the same. The Patterns of presentation take different forms each time. Many times, in working with individuals and families, I must ignore the rejecting, careless, and arrogant omnipotence flashing on the surface of the person, while the little neglected child is crying, inside. I don't buy the old Patterns; I am not controlled or intimidated by them. Both sides of the pendulum suffer, we must find out how and why, so that we can put an end to this societal enabling toxicity that has spread its wings and cast a shadow over people's lives.
Power Balance in a healing process. In a healing process, I merely guide people through their pain and suffering to reach their own process of nurturing the inner soul. I have regard for the dignity of the person as well as their inherent power awaiting to come out as I reached one hand forward; to lead them, I offer my other hand to take away from their unwilling and burdened shoulders the unwanted, old Patterns of oppressive, regressive need for power and control because of their ignorance of the Knowledge of Self that causes their fragility.
Pattern Interruption. Regard for the core of the person does not mean lying them on a couch for thirteen years and letting them wallow in their old Patterns while we dream about our own abundance pouring out of the umbilical cord of their dependency. It simply means having enough regard for the core of the person to not play games or humiliate them out of their Patterns. It means, instead, simply to honor the core of who they are, and to interrupt their old, outdated and, in the case of today's societal crisis, the harmful and habitual familiarity directed to them by Societal Programing of imbalanced power and supremacy.
Patterns carried in the Life File. If you keep talking about the worries and anxieties that have overwhelmed your life without getting anywhere, I simply stop you and ask you about your intent. If you have no intent, you simply want to talk about it while for the rest of your life carrying it in your life file, then you should see an analyst. But if you want to actively Search the Roots of your Patterns with me and change what seems to Imbalance your success or harmony, then I guide you back immediately to where you have Programed a Pattern that serves no purpose in your life today.
This Analysis of the Past only takes half an hour, not thirteen years. When your guide is not lost in his or her own path, neither will you be. After you see for yourself whose Pattern you carry in your Life File, and that it is not even your Pattern of choice, you will be able to Delete it in a matter of seconds, or a lifetime, as you choose it to be. To learn the Pattern of Self-discipline in order to keep that Pattern out of your Life File is the next step of Pattern Change Programing.
Finding the victim within the bully. For those who have lived a lifetime victimizing others, I would simply guide them to the victim within themselves. For it is that victim who is somewhere stuck, on the other side of the pendulum, acting like a bully from fear of all over again becoming victimized.
Transformation of the forgotten Self. The bully must see that the victimization is, indeed, in the continuation of being a bully, not in becoming a whole person, connecting with the vulnerable as well as the strong child within and accepting the forgotten and denied Self for the miraculous transformation and blossoming process of Universal Self.
Self-Programing Excellence. In my Seminars on Pattern Change Programing, I teach people the steps to Self-Program Power Balance and Excellence on their own. Following are simplified generalizations of the stages:
A. Individual Balance. Their purpose would initially be Individual Balance, which will bring success in the material world and success in relating with others, and teaches them Preventive techniques to have crisis-free lives.
B. Power Balance. The next level is a higher level, and involves acquiring Power Balance, which is the balancing of all dimensions existing within them, enabling them to see their inner and outer world, clearly, and to transform the world they want to live within with the embraced inherent power of their own minds by the powerful method, tools and techniques of Pattern Change Programing.
C. Excellence and the Final Analysis. Excellence is the collective of all Patterns in Power Balance, merged with Universal Wisdom and Nurturance. It is the Ultimate Formula for Existence in joy, mastery, happiness, peace and abundance of prosperity. It is reaching the point and process wherein the individual is no longer traveling towards a personal journey, but towards a larger mission, with the intent and the purpose of changing the downward direction of humanity upward and towards progression of universal peace and prosperity.
Believing in and seeing the core of a person. People have inherent Power Balance instilled within them. They are just not aware of its existence. Whatever we are not aware of, we cannot change nor can we control or utilize consciously to our benefit. Old Programs have been developed unconsciously, with no proper organization or purpose. The new Programs and Patterns have not been presented to us, for there are no schools for the true and necessary teachings of life for individuals as well as for couples and families: the teachings of the Self-knowledge, the only pathway to connection with Self and others.
School of curing diseases. There has been no schooling for Patterns of Excellence before, only for curing diseases. Schools have Habitual and outdated Patterns of Guidance and Teaching, parents have no schooling, and mental health professionals need Changes of Patterns and reform within their own schools and institutions. Many professionals within our own system have not challenged themselves for their own Imbalance Patterns.
They have hidden behind the hat of a therapist, buying into old Patterns and treating the people who come to them the way the world is already treating them: with abandonment and rejection of the core of Self, while pacifying their indulgences and addictions and keeping them in denial of their rights, their inherent capacity and convictions. People who help in the process of change must see the core of the person and her or his inherent goodness so that they can help the person see it as well. For that, they must first believe in the core of themselves, and work towards a clear Universal Self.
Introduction to the dimensions of Self. I help the dimension that orchestrates the presentation on the outside, to realize the price that is being paid by the other dimension, on the inside. I guide individuals on a path of gaining Patterns of Excellence. I lead them to not only want to get out of their denial, but to make a conscious choice and have the desire to live the life patterns which lead them to Prevention, Power Balance and Excellence. I do that by showing them the joy of being a whole person: one who is afraid but will not let fear stop her. One who has been hurt in love, and will love again, and embrace being loved; one who gives, but asserts Self in receiving; one who acknowledges needs, deprivations, and victimization, not to blame others and live a life of avoidance, but to fly above it all, and to change the Patterns and break the chain that has victimized all beings.
Breaking out of denial with families. In my work with some families, the authoritarianism and hierarchical dominance is so thickened and the Power so Imbalanced that, without spelling out the truth, it is impossible to lift the cross from the little children of the family dying from the burden. I confront those parents compassionately and yet firmly, like a parent who must oversee that her children don't hurt or abuse one another. In doing that, I guide the parents to observe themselves as the true victims, when they initiate in victimizing their children.
Society as the parent. This is much like the confrontations I would like to make with the true parents of the children: society. Being in a state of crisis as we are, with the thick shell of denial covering the patterns of nurturance of societal parents, the compassionate confrontations must be firmly and quickly stated, combined with warnings of a future without a universal change towards global peace and unity: the destruction of our home; our world and our societies.
Presenting the larger picture. As I truly believe, the parents will pay the price of raising their children as victims. After all, who wants to see their children leave, and come back home, not to tell their success stories, but to borrow money because they are lost, robbed, or hungry? That only happens to the parents of victimized children who live in a victimizing society that is constantly robbing its children of their inherent rights and dignity.
People are underestimated. People are more intelligent than the "experts" give them credit for. The toughest parents soften and become willing to learn. They see the payoff many professionals fail to show them. If we only tell parents they must let go of their Imbalance Patterns of the need to control and of authoritarianism, they won't understand or accept it.
Traveling back into the past and seeing the Repetitive Patterns of Relating will help them see where they were, and then decide where they are going. They only see it when we take their hands and help them travel thousands of miles back to when they were teenagers, oppressed and frustrated by the Victimizing Patterns of their own parents, and their own rigid systems of society. Only then are they able to see that they are repeating Patterns that they themselves have been the victims of, and that they are supporting and enabling the Oppressive Patterns of the same victimizing entities and institutions.
Traveling forward into the future to see the Patterns of their children's lives embedded in their bare hands. Then we take their hands, leading them thousands of miles ahead in time, and show them the future of their children. Only then, when they see the fruits of their labor, will they be willing to plant the appropriate seeds. That is only one path to Pattern Change and a healing process of future and destiny programing.
Breaking out of denial with couples. It is the same when a couple comes to me and one has taken all the space while the other ducks in the corner. I would call them on the Imbalance of Power that is, in the long run, satisfactory to neither the victim nor the bully. The bully, too, has learned the Pattern from the position of lack of Power Balance and vulnerability. When people understand that if they continue the domineering and indignant Patterns of Relating, they forever will be deprived of the true power of love and joy that the other has to offer, then they will consider changing Patterns that did not belong to them to begin with.
Back when traditional family system had failed. When I began forming Power Balance Therapy in 1984, the family Power Imbalance had just been recognized as a crisis. Times had changed. The traditional family system had failed. As a result, society was falling apart. The socioeconomic state of the nation heightened the women's liberation movement by women going back to work and trying to get back a right that they were born with to begin with, and the media increased adolescent resources, causing an Imbalance with the traditional family: an old and outdated system and its rigid, agreed-upon roles that were established not based on who wanted to do what, but based on gender identity. The result had been that families played the roles but no one seemed quite happy.
What had been, was no longer working. A destructive Power Struggle within the family caused dysfunctional family systems. I began giving the label "dysfunctional" to individuals and families long before I heard it used by anyone else. It seemed less degrading than "sick and incurable," and families, even the children, seemed to respond to it. Even now, but far more back in 1986, families sought therapy only when crisis or dysfunctional symptoms occurred and they no longer seemed able to develop or maintain healthy family functioning. Only when they were no longer laughing together, were no longer communicating, or even being civilized to each other, let alone understanding, accepting, or respecting one another, would they seek therapy. All that occurred by the time they got to a therapist's office were Power Struggle and Power Block: standing in the way of personhood, identity, growth and the joy of one another.
Symptoms of "dysfunctional" families. Symptoms were, and still are, abusive divorces, teenage runaways, career, academic and identity problems, drug and alcohol involvement, eating disorders, depression, suicidal ideation and attempts, power struggles within relationships, parent, child and partner abuse, and violence and barriers against reaching a maximum potential of health, success, intimacy, and balance, individually and as a family.
Preventive Family Therapy. I began to advocate, train, teach and preach Preventive Family Therapy; a process in which individuals, couples and families learn skills to prevent crisis and reach their maximum potential towards health, success, intimacy and balance.
Individual and Family Preventive Programs. At the Parvin Center for Developmental Health, which later changed to the Parvin Center for Patterns of Excellence, I offered daily seminars and workshops along with training for professionals. In my private practice, I offered Preventive techniques and Programs to change Patterns of crisis and lead people towards Power Balance and Excellence.
Preventive Programs. These Programs emphasize skills in learning and relating to the dynamics of the family, roles, rules, Past Patterns, Present Patterns, Healthy Patterns of attachment and separation, specific task requirements for each life stage of development, and the ability to create and maintain boundary and balance within the system.
Patterns of "dysfunction." As an essential process of Prevention family members learn about their "dysfunctional symptoms" including victimization, alienation, idealization, helplessness, hopelessness, apathy, suspicion and mistrust, lack of validation and self-confidence, guilt, jealousy, obsession, and sexual and emotional identity confusion which cause severe individual and family dysfunction. Once the Knowledge of Self is transferred, so is the Knowledge of Self-Healing. What we learn about, we can prevent and control within our Self, thus we can change.
Preventive Family Therapy. In my practice I don't recommend psychiatric, drug therapy in order to make positive changes within individuals, groups, and family systems. People learn to develop Preventive Patterns that enable them to be independent of drugs of all kind. If they are in need of drugs, I recommend they seek psychiatric evaluation and treatment for a brief period necessary to get out of the critical stage that requires drug dependency.
Pattern Change Programs for professionals and public. In 1984, I had everyday workshops that offered Power Balance and Pattern Change Programing, Self-Therapeutic techniques for couples, individuals, and families that were disintegrating as a result of the Imbalance of the Power in their relationships: an Imbalance denied for too long, not leaving anyone prepared for Power Balanced relating. Most of all, I focused strongly on Success and Excellence Training for professionals in the mental health field. I felt then, as I feel now, that not unless we change the Patterns from the top, will we be able to break the chain of Repetitive, Habitual and Regressive Patterns of our society. If we don't give people and professionals a vision of what can be, they will keep wallowing in their disease-oriented treatment plans and settling with lessening the duration of "remission" as the highlight of their victories.
Imbalanced process of making healers. During the ten years that I offered licensing exam preparations, I found that the root of the problems of the interns who did not pass their oral exams for the first time, was the encouragement of Imbalance Patterns, and lack of Power Balance between the commissioners and the intern.
Excellence training for professionals. The nature of oral exam with its intentional fear-provoking degradation for the purpose of uncovering possible transference existing within the interns made me sensitive to their needs. I thus provided them with Power Balance training as their process of preparation that would Delete the intentional creation of Patterns of Imbalance by some of the commissioners. As a part of Pattern Change, I would have interns create images in their minds that would delete toxic transferential idealization created in their mind for the commissioners. For instance imagining them stark naked or as children in diapers. The fear existing in those dark and cold rooms of the oral exam would disappear as they entered them as equals no as children.
Pattern Change for Programed Intimidation. It was the same process that some of the commissioners used to strip these fine people of their dignity, creating fear by humiliating processes truly not deserving of the respectable professionals who had already paid their dues of years of hard work towards becoming professional robots. This approach I had learned from a master, during my own process of deleting Patterns of Intimidation and Fear. We all must remember that we are all human, and none of us have been made with more sugar and cream than the other.
Equal: one who sees equality as a right. Equality first takes place in the mind of oppressed, just as inequality begins there. The process of creating Power Balance between two entities is twofold:
a. The decency and flexibility to give power to the oppressed, even though one knows he or she can avoid it.
b. The strength and tools to take power away from the oppressor, even though one knows it takes risk to demand it.
The process can take place in the mind of the oppressed; the actual forcing of a system to relinquish power does not have to take place. Once the victim or oppressed sees Self as equal, the assertive and Power Balanced techniques of negotiating will benefit all concerned. The reality is that unless "victims" see themselves equal to the oppressor, no change will ever be made. The only change needed is the change that takes place within the one who wants the change. The Imbalance itself will require the other party to respond.
For example. In the case where one partner comes in for creating change in a relationship, by the mere fact of his or her change, the other will have to respond one way or another. Hopefully, with the help of a skilled coach they will both be able to see the benefit and the inevitability in change. The time for negotiation is when the status quo is no longer acceptable and the one who wants change, as well as the one who is avoiding it, are both clearly recognizing it. The equal, at that point, is one who sees equality as an inherent right, regardless of where he or she is, or what he or she is going through, and knows the skills of the Cognitive Analysis as well as the Power Balance of the Emotional Strength- Vulnerability to demand it.
Imbalance within the system. In training interns, I found that their years of schooling and internships did not lessen their fear of authority, improve their own lack of self-worth, or even correct the Imbalances of Power within themselves that got in the way of their approach and process of psychotherapy. They were not only afraid to experience and take responsibility with clients, and to value their time and the painful process they had initiated, but they were also unable to value their Self and have healthy boundaries that benefited them as well as their clients. The relationship would become one of resentment on the part of the intern, and disillusionment on the part of the client; both feeling victimized.
Patterns of Excellence for professionals. I offered training in traditional clinical assessment and psychotherapy as well as in acquiring Patterns of Excellence in weekly Professional Training Program; teaching techniques and theories that could be used in real life, also techniques on how to become their own therapists and to heal their Self: Patterns that were missing before. Self-therapy is required for all therapists as a part of their licensing exams but it is more significant as a requirement for success in private practice. There is nothing like having sat in the same chair as our clients, having felt what they feel, and remembering it as we are trying to guide them out of pain and in joyful reality.
Holding the torch of guidance. We are living in a world where people are depending on the clarity of their societal leaders. Leaders, meanwhile, are indulged in their war games with each other in their pastimes, promoting dependency with the oppressive rules of eighteenth century as paid services to people of their country. In such critical and history making time, leaders of the mental health promotion must awaken and hold the torch of Self-guidance, and Self clarity. Unfortunately even among such leaders there are thieves and they steal the torch, hit the one that gave it to them in the head and run while burning the footprints of others.
Universal crisis stemming from Imbalances. Today, as I have repeated in this book before, the universal crisis has appropriately warned me, just like the rest of you, through its danger and instability stemming from the Imbalances of Powers in our society and in world. I feel a calling from deep within my own soul and spirit to be true to my convictions and to apply my knowledge on a larger scale, spelling out all my theories and applications not only to facilitate the people I have cared for and about, privately, for almost fifteen years, in individual, relationship and familial Power Balance and Excellence, but also to support them to change their environment so that they don't have to go back to the same Imbalances that brought them into therapy. Their active participation in saving the future of their children and their homes and preserving the safety and stability of their communities will not only Delete the Oppressive Patterns of Imbalance and create Power Balance within them to rise above their own Blocks, but also will enhance the Progressive Patterns and Power Balance of society.
Creating Balance in a larger home we share. With all the past learning, teaching, involvement and activities in this profession and with my own life experiences behind me, my compassion for humanity as well as my societal and ethical responsibilities have both Programed my intent and have also equipped me with tools and techniques to create and apply balance to a larger picture, vision, and purpose, not only for my Self, but for those who have entrusted me. By becoming a Societal Change Agent for the people and not an enabler for societal Toxic and Corruptive Patterns, I can guide others through Changing the Imbalances existing today in our model society; the larger home we share, and ultimately making a difference in our shared global and universal destiny.
A shared altruistic mission. On this journey I am inviting you so that, as a collective unity, we can lead this revolutionary path and, whether together or alone in action, to join our Power Balances of differentness and shared commonality in mind and spirit, through the bridge of the Universal Wisdom and Nurturance that embraces us all. I know that if we all connect with the core of our own existence, our own inherent goodness, strength, and creativity, we can carry the torch of progression in humanity, promoting a non-selective, universal spirituality, compassion peace and prosperity.
Happiness, peace, compassion as byproduct. The byproduct of Power Balance and Excellence in individuals is inner peace and healthy families. The byproduct of Power Balance in society is togetherness of differentness, universal compassion, peace, and prosperity.
The price and the payoff, for all. Just as the followers will no longer resent and rebel, the leaders will not end up as the bad guys with all the blame and responsibility. The present system is no longer working. The leaders and followers are victims of a failed system, and no one is winning. What is there to win, when we must all leave our homes in a hurry because of the disasters that are being created as a result of the world's Patterns of Imbalance and Instability?
Power Balance Theory
Assumptions and Principles
Evolution of Power Balance and Excellence. Power Balance, as a theory, as a therapy and as Patterns of Change, as it has evolved with the changes of its creator is a constant process of experience to evolve to a higher level o existence. Independent of the external objects of change, yet connected with all existing on the outside, with all universal gifts and powers at our disposal. Power Balance is the process of experiencing, learning, engaging, participating, and having available to us all options and life choices, fully.
It is a Revolutionary Evolution of mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, societal and environmental Balance, and a peace to life that such wisdom brings, and its byproduct of health, success and happiness on earth. It offers a long-lasting life in prosperity and health in a balanced environment that embraces us within, as we embrace it without, as we humbly accept the universal law of the swing of the pendulum. Revolution is needed now because of the neglect of this law. The avoidance of a mental revolution of equality and justice of choice that brings global peace and progression will resort in destructive regression.
A law of Universal Balance and Harmony. The theory of Power Balance is based on the assumption that everything in this world must have balance and harmony. For every cell, every organ, every leaf, every plant, every tree, every animal, every piece of dirt and every human being alive, there is a formula of balance. The ultimate balance is harmony and the balance between everything. A harmony and balance of each part creates harmony and balance of the whole, which is the accumulation of the parts.
Patterns. Patterns are a collection of a set of Causal and Effect Cognitive-Emotionally Motivated Multidimensional Action that individuals present as they receive the input and knowledge of thought by the Programs they have Adopted from different Life Programers. (Discussed in detail in Chapter Eight, Patterns of Being.)
Past Habitual and Repetitive Patterns. Some of the most primitive, destructive and Toxic Patterns that exist in today's society have continued only because of the law of familiarity. Oppression, victimization, fear, guilt, and many other Patterns that have paralyzed individuals and communities, are surviving only because people do not have the knowledge or permission of Pattern Analysis, which is the basic questioning that shows us which Patterns we are still presenting for their mere familiarity, and which of these Patterns of the Past no longer serve a purpose in our lives, and need to be deleted by separation of ourSelf from that which we have adopted without choice, in order to become independent beings.
Congruent Patterns. Patterns in harmony within Self, with others and with the environment, are congruent. To be one in thought, emotion, and action, is one of the known signs of mental health.
Crisis Patterns. Crisis is what the mental health profession, up to now, has been responding to, and crisis intervention has been the focus of many in the mental health field. Crisis is when the individual feels no hope or no way out of a critical situation, feels no energy or motivation, or feels too much of uncontrolled energy in the wrong direction, and can think of no solution to relieve the paralyzing stress, anxiety and feelings of helplessness.
Prevention of crisis. Pattern Change Programing does not wait for the crisis to happen. Prevention of the crisis is number one in the Programing of Patterns in childhood, adulthood and in society. It is discussed in detail in Chapter Nine, Techniques of Pattern Change Programing.
Key Patterns. Balance Patterns, Imbalance Patterns, Block Patterns, Power Balance Patterns and Excellence Patterns are the Significant Patterns in theory and application of Pattern Change Programing, discussed in detail in later chapters.
The Evolutionary Patterns of Power Balance. Power Balance Theory will take you from wherever you are, to a more successful Self in every aspect of life, so that you become a happier, more joyful person, at peace with Self and with the world. It will continue to process when you no longer need to work towards material success, by bringing you to Excellence, a pattern every individual is capable of and deserves to be in. Individuals need only the willingness to go through the program and free their Self of all patterns that have caused the world and humanity the consistent regression we all feel; a regression that is occurring because we have gradually let go of our own independence of thought and action and have let profit-seeking, ignorant cults stray us from our natural and true Selves, and from compassion, togetherness and peace on earth.
Power of the individual as cause and effect. Power Balance Theory is about people having the power to change themselves, to change their relationships, to change society, to change their world, to change their destiny, and finally, to bring everything into balance and harmony. Power Balance Theory teaches individuals that they are the cause and the effect, that they are whole, and that they are part of a whole and universal entity and substance.
Cause and effect Patterns. Power Balance Theory holds that everything we see, everything we take at face value and try to change by medicating temporarily or denying, is only a symptom, an effect. In order to find the cause, we must have Self-knowledge that comes from the rapid analysis of past, present and future: not only with the individual, but with society as a whole.
The Formula of Balance. Every living organ has its own Formula of Balance. Imbalance in nature and society is not a natural phenomenon. It occurs as a result of ignorance and a lack of practicing the principles of Power Balance.
The collective formula. I would like to share with you the collective formulas that I have found, however unpolished they may be because of their newness. Let us together begin the process, and let others come and add Excellence to what seems to me, as a necessary step towards giving the power back to the individuals and preserving dignity. It is a necessary step towards cutting the umbilical cord that keeps us attached to the past Programers and their habitually repetitive, regressive Programs that intentionally keep us in childlike dependency and toxic fears, inappropriate for developmentally mature adults that serve as blocks to a healthy progressive programing, incompatible with mastering the mission of peace within themselves and with others, and in the society.
Individual Power Balance. Harmony, connection, peace and congruity within Self creates individual Power Balance. There are parts to the whole Self. These parts, if incongruent with each other, will create Toxic Power and an Imbalance of Power. If congruent, they will create Power Balance.
Whole cannot exist without its parts. We can no longer afford the separation of powers, since we depend on each and every power existing in order to maintain Universal Power Balance. Therefore, an environment must be created where every individual being lives in harmony and balance amongst others, of all races, sexes and differences of belief.
All relationships are cross-cultural. This is even true amongst members of one family. As a part of Preventive Family Therapy, we need to look at all relationships as cross-cultural. Within our own families and under one roof we have cross-cultural different- ness. No two people are alike; parents and adolescents, husbands and wives, and even twin sisters have cross-cultural differentness. Everyone is unique and requires understanding and acceptance of that uniqueness. There is a Power Balance of cultures that, if we are sensitive, it will enable us connect with the multidimensions of ourselves.
Differentness program. To the degree that we can look at each other and instead of black, Jewish, Italian, Christian, or Moslem, we only see "different," and to the degree that we can accept this differentness, we have learned to accept our self, our families and society. This is a process of prevention of dysfunction and Imbalance Patterns on a larger scale.
Many virtues to any culture. There are also many Patterns that are detrimental to societal survival as well as its Excellence. If we set aside our biases and prejudices and create a Power Balance of cultures and differentness where we can choose the best of what Universal Wisdom has to offer us, we will have swung the Universal Pendulum, and will have chosen Universal Nurturance. It is very easy to reject differentness. We can all pass justified laws or make familial rules to keep out others who are different from ourselves, so that no one can challenge our limitations. Yet what seems to have been a tough challenge and difficult for many who are too rigid to be flexible is the answer to Societal Excellence and in humanity: the Cultural Power Balance of Differentness.
Beyond the inherited culture. When I see people who immigrate to the States while creating isolated islands amongst themselves and refusing to learn the language and what the culture has to offer them, I ask my Self, why did they come here? It would have been far less complicated to remain where they were. I believe that people migrate, like my Self, to stretch beyond what they have already outgrown and mastered.
Culture exposure creates wisdom of flexibility. Exposure to two cultures is a treasure and luxury not many people can afford, physically, emotionally or financially. But to be exposed and not to gain from it, to me, is a personal crime and irresponsibility for not following through with the choices one has already made. Some say they did not choose to become gypsies; it was their fate that drove them out of their homeland. True. Some individuals' choices have been made by corruption of systems that have failed them. And yet once one is in the garden, with or without choice, it is a crime not to choose, to smell the flowers.
Guest cultures as the treasure. On the other hand, I see that the native people of a land are often too hesitant to learn from their guests, and see them as intruders who should have never left their own land. It is not only sad for the guests, but it is a tragic limitation for the hosts who close themselves to the sea of knowledge and culture handed to them graciously if they would only welcome the treasures that have come to them as holy gifts of Universal Maternal Nurturance. It is this openness to different- ness that creates the flexibility, the understanding, respect and the acceptance that we need in order to create healthy Balance Patterns of peace and prosperity for all beings in the magnificent melting pot of existence.
Eastern culture and the lack of material indulgence. I, a philosophically-oriented being, understood the East far more than I ever studied it. Maybe it was in the clear and unhurried air I had to breathe daily for twenty years of my life in an Eastern society. In Eastern cultures, lack of indulgence with the absence of too many toys to play with, forces people to look within themselves and search for a meaning to life.
Eastern timeless life in a slow lane. They also have the time for it. They are not Programed to think that if they don't own a house, two children, a dog, a station wagon, and belong to a political party and religious organization, that their lives will be meaningless. They don't have multiple freeways running them on the maze of life, wasting half of their lives getting on and off the road, not being able to enjoy their true paths with those whom they love.
Eastern cultures lack advanced tools. What they lack, however, are the tools to apply their depth to everyday life and living. Instead of using their philosophical depth towards more meaning and purpose, life for them becomes a meaningless philosophical fantasy, symbiotically meshed in their families and many friends, they never quite claim a true Self in totality.
A second chance and a rebirth. A democratic society is the best environment for a development of Self separated from the umbilical cord that connects us to the addictive indulgences and Imbalances mistaken for culture. People of any culture who migrate to other countries especially to States, must appreciate and take advantage of the second chance they have provided themselves in learning independence of thought and action in a free country. Once we become clear about who we are, and are no longer affected by the chaotic distractions of societal denial, we must look around and see the sea of opportunities that exist for growth, abundance and prosperity, especially in the States. For immigrants there is even more chance at developing their true Self because they are not held back by the chains of the past handed down by religious roots of this society.
Westernization: fast-paced maze, illusive reality. In Western culture, everything is provided in quantity but not with quality: with rush and careless pace with the absence of thoughtful grace; with arrogant, mindless actions without introspection. Life that is assessed and valued by performance and not substance becomes living fully on the surface, never even looking for a meaning to fast-paced maze and its overwhelming illusion.
What is missing in Western culture. The time to introspect upon the philosophical dimensions and to look for the true meaning to life is missing in Western culture. It is possible to be successful and yet not to be sold to material success. It is possible to own things and yet not to be driven by them to the point of losing Self. It is possible to become independent in thought and action and yet remain connected to those we love. It is all a part of the inherent capacity existing within each and every one of us.
Eastern philosophy before religious influence. I grew up with the philosophical belief of "do unto others what you want done onto you." In the Persian Empire where my ancestors grew up before the influence of the Arab religion, we believed in goodness for goodness' sake. Do good, think pure thoughts, and have clear actions, was the commandment of Zartosht belief that existed long before any religion came to play.
Philosophy of goodness. The old and ancient Persian Empire's exemplary wisdom and strength came from people who did good for the goodness' sake, not for the fear of punishment, guilt, or shame.
Philosophy of power and responsibility. Equality between the sexes, liberation of the mind, and the wisdom of joy and happiness built on personal responsibility and power, were founded in old Persia: before corruption of fear, the ignorance of religion, and the indulgences of the West forced her powerful wings down and seduced her into the dark caves of oppression. It is a tragedy that the world is paying for, today.
The root of every person: Universal Self. I find the true Root to the problem in the lack of Power Balance of people who seem to have lost the strength, the principles and the grace they once had. The powerful, rich and graceful heritage of Eastern people came not from their language, their folk dances, their Persian rugs, their oil wells, or the queen's jewels that impress the Western world or the magical man-made buildings and structures; it came from knowing their true Self, and accepting responsibility for the fruit of their liberation and freedom embedded within their heritage. This same power, the inherent power of people, has been the force behind building a democratic empire in United States.
Gaining back individual dignity. It is up to the people of each and every society to gain inner Power Balance so that they can gain back their dignity. The people of the Persian Empire, and all the lost cultures of the world, including the people of the lost cultures of our free society must take personal responsibility by going back to the roots of their existence and nurturing once more. Persia needs the principles of Self-knowledge and the qualities of joyful living with goodness, without the indulgences and addictions of a Western society. Otherwise, no matter what kind of leadership they choose or adopt without choice, Persia will repeat the mistakes of its own history.
Matriarchal Eastern societies. Eastern society, long before the humiliation of religious fanaticism cast a shadow on the equality of the races, was matriarchal. Women not only bore and nurtured their young ones, they also left them with their partners and worked in the plantations to plant the seeds and reap the crops to feed their families.
Lack of men-women Power Struggle. There were no Power Struggles, wars for dictatorship or one-dimensional and lopsided relationships. There was love and protection only, responsibility and the partnership of equal and whole entities. Even now, when women in the Western world are fighting for liberation, Eastern women, although I don't quite know the root to such liberation, have kept their own last name and identity when they join a man with whom they share their destiny.
Power Balance of the sexes within and without. The Power Balance of the sexes existed not only between men and women, but also within the inner souls of men and women. Men were strong enough not to be afraid and intimidated by women, to share power and vulnerability. Women were not oppressed or sold into the victimized system of holding their true Self back, exercising vanity just to be an accepted member of society.
Universal Power Balance. The Power Balance Theory holds that the combined Power Balance in each individual being will develop the Universal Power Balance. Without Individual Power Balance, there can be no Universal Power Balance, since they both give and receive power from each other. Individual Power Balance is part of the whole, the Universal Power Balance.
Regressive Imbalance Pattern: Idealization. I have repeated my Self many times, since this concept is the most significant factor in my theory: the need for equality of powers. The idealization of authority by people, and the abuse of power by the leaders, has Imbalanced the system and swung it towards a corrupt and destructive path, and it must change. The Power Balance of every society depends on both the acceptance of responsibility and taking charge by the people, and the generosity and willingness to share power by the leaders of society.
The backwards Swing of Pendulum. We take things in life, at face value. We are told not to question authority, so we have stopped questioning altogether. We hardly analyze the past or look at the present so that we can predict the future. We hardly recognize our ability to know the unseen.
Learning from Past Patterns and history. We know that our fathers thought the earth was flat; when some wise men said that it was round, others wanted to kill them. We know that when the airplane was invented, everyone thought that gods were coming down in the big, silver animal. We know that we are far from Darwin's time, and yet we still look for the missing link that he was searching for a long time ago; as for us, we are it. The missing link to humanity is the regressive slide to its ancestors' Patterns of absence of using the mind. We have done it in the past, and we have the power and inherent capacity to do it now. Maybe, just in time, we can reverse the Patterns of Regression and revolutionize humanity.
Create, initiate and lead, instead of follow. I believe in the mental health profession as the leading torch for the survival of humanity, and as the unity that must go through its own reform and accept a more reasonable responsibility. Thus I will begin my Root Analysis of Societal Imbalances with its leading authorities. Looking at our Past Patterns continuing themselves into present and its miraculous advancements in technology, what can we come up with, as the final analysis: our own deductive reasoning of the solution to the problems of being human?
I cannot help but imagine that if Freud, our father, was alive today, he himself would no longer be using the method of treatment appropriate for a hundred years ago. I am sure that by now he would have come up with a treatment plan that he was hoping one of his followers, after one hundred years, would have creatively initiated. I am sure, if he saw us now, he would be concerned about our Habitual Regressive Patterns of seeking familiarity at any cost, absence of innovativeness let alone Flexibility, as we, a hundred years later, offer our clients the same outdated, and incomplete method of therapy.
The root to Toxic Pattern of blind loyalty. What are the roots to the Imbalance Pattern of rigid, fear-stricken, unquestioned blind loyalty with its devastating absence of calculative risks and initiating futuristic thoughts let alone actions, that can graduate us from our parental figures and take us out of the eighteenth century? If Patterns of Obedience and unquestioned following of authority are seen amongst the professionals in the field of mental health where there is supposedly an abundance of Knowledge of Self, then the question is, what has caused it to become such an ingrained part of individual beings? These are Patterns that, for every mental health professional sitting on the other side, are clearly "characteristics of dysfunctional families" that the profession tries to heal. But if we, the health promoters and educators, are continuing our own blind loyalties and singing rigid and unquestioned "follow" songs, instead of leading, what do we expect from the rest of society?
Deeply-rooted, engraved Programing: religion. Our religious expectations, orders and suggestions have always been blind obedience to authority, and follow with guilt, fear of punishment, and bribe of reward. The pain of "sinning" and being abandoned, not only from immediate loved ones but from eternity, can make anyone follow for life and give up one's own rights and power of the mind, no matter how knowledgeable. No wonder even our professionals and the healers of the soul have learned to obey and follow the great Fathers of the mind. The guilt and fear of abandoning our Fathers, of becoming more aware than they, of losing love if we are different from others and all the Patterns that Block the ordinary on the street from becoming successful at his or her own endeavor of having a creative and independent Self, is what makes the change most difficult.
The common boundary. The common boundary and Pattern for humanity requires acceptance, understanding, love, respect, and compassion for all, regardless of differentness in age, race, color, gender or selected systems for expression of belief.
People, not objects. One of the biggest crimes of the century lies in the fact that those who are clear enough to become leaders of some sort treat the people who follow them as objects. One of the most paralyzing wounds of humanity is the victimization of individuals by their own kind.
Freedom-Responsibility Program. The definition of freedom in the theory of Power Balance and Pattern Change Programing is not considered in the absence of the Patterns Responsibility. In fact, freedom is responsibility. One without the other will not survive. Freedom of one can't be considered without the careful consideration of freedom for all, and vice-versa. Any freedom that infringes upon that of others should automatically be void. The exercise of true freedom must automatically be accompanied by a consideration for the freedom of others.
Individual as symptom, not the problem. Pattern Change Programing holds the principle that instead of the traditional approach to individuals, where physicians waited in their offices for clients to show up to drug them and put them away; they should learn the Prevention of Imbalance by changing the victimizing Societal Patterns. Only then their "patients" heal and they themselves will also prosper.
Society as the patient. We have always taken at face value that the symptoms are the problems, even though every single physician should know, theoretically, that the symptoms that occur in one member of the family are the results of dysfunction within the family. In this case where there is a universal crisis, the absence of protection and safety and the Imbalances existing in every society must be enough warning for every professional to consider their patient to be the society.
Change Agents or Societal Adjusters. The mental health profession seems to be working as an agent for society, helping people adjust to their dysfunction instead of utilizing knowledge of self on a larger scale and demanding change of patterns from the Toxic Programers and leaders whose imbalance has caused crisis in the lives of the individuals as well as the family and society.
Societal responsibility: focus on the larger scale. This has never been looked at, on a larger scale and bigger picture, insofar as the individual is carrying the symptoms of society's problems. Just as every dysfunctional family focuses on safe topics, frightened of rocking the boat and uncovering the true relational problems, blaming the most innocent among the crowd, the mental health profession seems to have closed its eyes to the real problems of humanity.
The Power Balance of cultures. We live in a country and a world where people have become nationalistic and partial to their own cultures, closing themselves to others. By doing that, they are not only creating Power Imbalance and war, but also cheating their Self out of the Inner Power Balance they could gain by accepting all of humanity, thus finding the Patterns of Humanity that exists within their Self.
The war of cultures must stop. People who come to this country must appreciate the opportunities which expose them to the practical dimensions of Western society, and its hospitality as a host who has opened her arms to all people of the world. They must welcome the opportunity, and know that they are here to mingle and adapt to the universal languages and customs that can only bring them a deeper connection with their own inner complexity.
Making of the dream of Freedom and Liberty. True freedom and liberty needs all people on its side. On the same token, Western culture must become aware of the gifts of wisdom and the enlightened nature of its guests who have left their own comfortable homes to become a part of the making of the dream of freedom and liberty. It was all of us who built America, and it belongs to us all, without discrimination, the ignorance that brings greed and the need for exclusive power, war and hostility.
Culture wars: Power Imbalance within Selves. Only a one-dimensional person fearful of differentness, would be rigid enough to reject the richness and beauty that the diversity of cultures offers humanity. In a free country like ours, culture wars have been declared by some of our political leaders who define democracy as an impractical ideology of the people on the other side of the aisle.
Tear down walls of ignorance and prejudice. Sadly, the melting pot of the world, where once the trust of finding freedom on the streets brought the cream of the crop of other nationalities and races from all over the world, is beginning to build the walls she helped other countries tear down.
The Hitlers of our time must be stopped. I have been advocating these Programs for the past ten years. Unfortunately, not enough of us believe in more than one-dimensional humanity. The Hitlers of our time must be stopped so that history does not repeat its mistakes.
Change as an inherent Pattern. According to the Power Balance Theory, when individuals are passive, it is not because they are born that way, or because that's their type. It is because they have not developed Power Balance, which enables both passive and active Patterns of relating, or any other Pattern they wish to develop and use appropriately.
Excelling in the science of relating. If a relationship is not working out, it is not because the two people involved are not meant for each other. It is because they have not learned individual Power Balance (which enables them to go into a relationship with clarity, strength and tools to make it work.) They thus cannot achieve relationship Power Balance, which enables them to overcome problems and excel at the art and science of relating.
No emphasis on predisposition. If an individual is having thought distortions, it does not mean that he or she is an incurable schizophrenic or a lifetime drug addict. It means that the physicians, who have not experienced their own Power Balance, have become frightened of working extensively with a person with difficult and unusual Patterns Programed due to oversensitivity to harshness of the people around, and by the ignorance of the profession that labels him or her as incurable. The responsibility lies on the professionals and their ability to help change what is changeable without preconceived notions.
No inferior or superior genes. The Theory of Power Balance believes that people are different not because some were born superior and some inferior. People are different because they have been given different Programs in life. For that matter, they can change their Patterns and become whomever they choose. They are not doomed for life with Patterns characteristics they did not choose for themselves, just as they are not doomed with the clothing they put on that they don't like, or the relationship that was put upon them by circumstance, or the country they were born in, or the language they grew up speaking, or the religion given to them without choice, or the myths and beliefs Programed into them without their acceptance.
The choice of change. The choice of change must be the individuals', not the result of a manipulative and controlling authoritarian system or organization trying to convert them into what they think is good for them while forcing them out of their individuality. Differentness must be accepted by others, and challenged only by the choice of the individual.
Patterns of Arrogant supremacy. Arrogant supremacy occurs only as a result of internal feelings of inferiority which are compensated by the external presentation of arrogance and supremacy. The more ignorance and prejudice, the more need for supremacy. It is the most toxic, dangerous and antihumane Pattern that has ever existed in humanity. Its origins stem from Past Patterns of supremacy and discrimination by race or belief systems apparent in several countries. Germany, with Hitler, is such a case, as well as many other countries with different religions and belief systems. An example of that is that not a prejudiced preacher or ignorant person on the street, but an intelligent leader and staff member of previous administrations who goes before national television and talks of teaching their own "one and only" family values to the immigrants of this country. It clearly indicates primitive and limited thought patterns of supremacy. If it wasn't for the balance of our present Attorney General, Janet Reno, a woman of fairness and integrity who was also enraged by such presentations, an aware audience would have lost hope in the future of this country. And these are the people who have ruled this country for years. It isn't any wonder we are in such state of agony. He proceeded to say that if Hindus do not like honesty, they should be cheated and stolen from so they can come to understand what "family value" means. As if people of other cultures were born without values. Other congressmen have continued this pattern of undermining ethnicity, creating a movement against diversity by the far right. Someone should educate and inform some of our politicians who are native to this country and have limited global knowledge that people of other cultures have lost their moral foundation and values by being exposed to today's Western boundaryless society. If the answer is, "Then tell them to go back to their homes," as has been the popular phrase of many politicians in our free country, we must also inform our dear but misguided friends that these people are home: a home that must stop denying them of their uniqueness, a home that must reform and change to suit all of its people, and equally honor and regard the core of all beliefs.
All values of substance are universal. Values, if they are any good, have a universal nature that does not humiliate or discriminate against anyone and is shared by all. No one has a monopoly on universal values; they existed before any entity or organization arrived. We just alienate them by our primitive laws that inhibit their natural flow. It is this kind of ignorance that causes arrogant supremacy detrimental to the survival of world peace and humanity.
Pseudo-savior syndrome. Pattern Change Programing and the Theory of Power Balance puts the responsibility back onto people and takes away the pseudo-savior syndrome that disables people and prevents them from becoming their own saviors, taking responsibility for their mistakes and accepting the consequences for their actions. Pattern Change Programing does not teach people to live in a borrowed reality where any minute someone may appear and save them from their problems and take them to a better world. It does teach individuals to recognize the danger of encouraging denial existing within society: denial of problems they cannot run away from and leave behind, but which they must deal with and help resolve with dignity.
The existence of a pseudo-savior image in people's lives in itself has created Patterns that endanger the survival of our societies. With such an image, people relieve themselves of responsibilities and power to make changes, losing their rights to their freedom that cannot exist without responsibility.
Selective Compassion that is spreading discrimination. The development of discrimination among people who hold onto an image that is supposed to save them has caused the spread of hatred and prejudice, provoking wars throughout history. What had been developed by people, to serve people, and to bring connection and harmony amongst them, according to Pattern Change Programing principles, no longer functions that way. In fact, its childlike and primitive nature has become one of the most regressive and destructive elements in the survival of humanity.
Role models for humanity. To me, a role model for humanity must have a choice of protecting and defending himself or herself from immoral, conscienceless and anti-humane groups and individuals. Otherwise, he or she cannot be an appropriate role-model for humanity. A good role model for humanity will not hurt others, will not harm treat people like objects, and will not people for his or her own benefit at the cost of integrity, freedom, prosperity, or rights.
Inhumanity and cruelty should not win. Yet if a role model for humanity is in the midst of inhumane environments, he or she will not bend down and make people feel that cruelty wins, or that darkness is stronger than light, or that the truth will lose over each agenda of greed, need for power, or revengeful act of hate and prejudice stemming from the blind obedience and ignorance of the ones exercising it. Cruelty and inhumanity should not win before the eyes of our children.
Children are the leaders and decision-makers of tomorrow. They watch us with utmost sensitivity and make decisions in their hearts and minds that will affect the course of destiny. As parents, we must not advocate them to role-model after inhumane behavior no matter how popular the perpetuators of cruelty may be. It must not be difficult to recognize such patterns of inhumanity today, in our society. Aggressive insult of innocent people who are serving our country has become a manipulative tactic of winning votes and popularity.
We must not be blinded by selective kindness of those who are only kind to us. We must demand from them a universal compassion and decency, and guide them away from their wrong doing if they are so confused that they cannot see. We cannot afford to be shy or afraid of not joining in for laughing at the cruel remarks of another, thinking that it will make us an outcast, a disloyal church member or community.
The scars of an unjust beaten and violated integrity are far more painful than the scars of a beaten and violated body. While in our society we have become conscious of violence and abuse and our government is actively after those who violate the rights of others, from the top of the hierarchy we still exercise and allow emotional slavery and brutality as a sign of strength, honesty and sincerity. We say "he is telling it like it is" to a guy who has a monopoly on manipulation and dishonesty.
"Tough Love." Would we have been so merciful to a father who molests his children for whom he has responsibility, or the trusted thief who robs us of our money, home, peace of mind, and security? This is the same thing, and to close our eyes and go along with it is a silent crime of today's society. If we raise our children with love and compassion and treat others with the same respect and acceptance we feel deserving of, there won't be a need for tough love: a method that our societal leadership today seems to be needing.
This is the result of our past programing of blind obedience to authority, and it is the cause of imbalance in our society. Authority in American culture today has become anyone who can come before the camera and say something. And we the people have learned to automatically honor or dishonor others according to the seat they take, without intrinsically questioning their intent and their integrity. Morality and ethics are not measured by what church someone goes to, if he or she goes to any church at all. It is measured by how they treat others and how they advocate others to treat the members of their community.
That is how Hitler's men felt when obeying the order to kill millions of innocent people of their own country. It all began with a brilliant idea of an arrogant supremacist: a tormented individual feeling inferior and alienated during most of his childhood and adolescence, whose power gave him the unwise opportunity to play with millions of people's lives as he became a powerful and ruthless visionary. He planted a seed with his power of persuasion and waited to see the reaction of the majority. If he had not succeeded by the power of the mind and spirit of the people, he would have apologized and gone away feeling sorry for his lack of expressive ability. But he succeeded, and began his terrorism of morale and assassination of decency, before ordering his clan to dig holes and throw in the bodies. A similar tragedy was once
allowed in this very democratic and free country in the Eugenic Colony: a place where people were killed because of not looking like, and acting like, the masters and the majority of the society.
We must look within our own inner ethics. People have power and must be responsible for how they utilize it. It seems like we must carry the burden neglected by some of the leaders of our society. We must ask and become clear of the intent of each and every gathering where we are asked to be the cheerleaders. We must ask ourselves the purpose of our existence in that gathering. If some are terrorizing and assassinating the character of others, we must put ourselves in the place of whomever is being a victim. We must ask ourselves that if it were us and our family and spouse they were terrorizing, what would we have expected from the rest of our community. Laughing at someone who is putting others down assists the accepted crime by any rules of ethics and morality. No showman or congressman should be making millions of dollars at the cost of others, let alone be honored and awarded for intrusive bravery, by any club that its people are not the same as those of Sodom and Gomorra, without a conscience, and are decent people who truly mean it, when they advocate and stand by their spirituality.
Honorable convictions must be supported. Theory of Power Balance and Pattern Change Programing does not believe in the genuineness and authenticity of Pattern of Kindness, if one has not and cannot also exercise the Pattern of Strength and Bravery needed for an individual to protect Self and one's honorable convictions, as long as one's intent does not infringe upon the rights of others and intrudes upon an ethical boundary.
of Power Balance
The tale of the lonely couple. A couple who looked as if life had left them long ago, came to see me. They were only going through the motions. Communication had stopped, both with themselves and with each other. They had stopped caring.
Life had lost its colors. Hope was felt only through the little envelope of donations they sent out every month to charity. I asked both of them what life was like for them. They both answered at the same time: "It is lonely." They had not felt the presence of themselves or each other for years. I gently said, "Your lives seems empty." They both nodded their heads, while trying to keep the tears that had appeared in their eyes from coming down their faces.
The process of Pattern Change. I asked them both in detail what it was like to have an empty life, and to tell me if they wanted to go on living the way they had been: dying. I asked them if they were planning to leave each other, and if they were thinking that without one another they would have a happier life. They were not sure, but knew that they were in pain. She was more ready to blame him for everything and leave. I told them both that unless they changed first from the inside, no matter where they went and who they went with, they would be lonely and empty. So they might as well give it a try with each other. In a two-hour session, that couple found what they had been missing for twenty-five years: their Selves.
Back to where he once felt joy. I asked him if he remembered anything that at some point in his life gave him joy. He could not remember easily, so I asked him to go back to his childhood. He saw himself at age seven, sitting on a bench playing guitar. I asked him how long had passed since he had played. He said, "Since I got married. She doesn't like it. It reminds her of her father who got drunk every time he played his guitar."
Recognition of Past Programing. I helped her to go back to her Past Programing and remember the pain she felt as a child, while never again forgetting that she was no longer a helpless child. The tears, the anger, the loss, and the release were all a part of the half-hour process of stepping back to the painful remembrances of childhood with the strength of an adult.
Going back in order to move forward. It is significant to go back for two reasons. On one hand, it is to leave the pain behind in the past, where it belongs, for others handed it to us by mistake. On the other hand, it is to bring back the joy we left behind as a result of numbing ourselves to the pain.
Children don't have selective-screening. Children cannot decide to leave the pain and take the joy, but adults who go back to the past along with their inner child the second time around, can.
Selective path to her past. It is not necessary to go through tedious analysis half of our lives as I know many intelligent and creative people have, in order to find the root to the adopted or borrowed Patterns that we have dragged with us to our own lives. It takes a skilled coach, a guide, a Programer, and a Pattern Change creator to hold your hands, to lead you through the map, and to help you land right where you need, to pay another short, brief visit and say your final good-byes.
Key Pattern connecting her past to present. For her, it was the pain of having felt abandoned by her father, who had basically tuned the world out while letting her mother dominate her life. She felt the shame, embarrassment, guilt and abandonment common in children of alcoholics. She also felt betrayed because he let her mother take it all out on her. Her husband's guitar playing was to her the key Pattern that triggered all of her past, painful remembrances of her father and his pastime of playing his guitar and passing out drunk on the couch.
Back to where she once felt joy. I turned to her and asked her the same question: "When was the last time you felt joy?" She answered, "Our last dance at our wedding. We danced all night. I love dancing, but he has a bad leg and can't dance. He is always limping, and that goes for making love as well."
Selective path to his past. I asked him about his relationship with his mother. Experience had already taught me the shortcuts to the mystery of solving the sexual Imbalance Patterns of men. The root always goes back to the relationship with the mother, just as the root to sexual Imbalance Patterns of women can lead us to the father.
Key Pattern connecting his past to present. He remembered his mother as a domineering woman who overshadowed his passive and quiet father. He remembered that she always dragged his father and him to all the events and places they did not want to be involved in. More than anything, he remembered that when his father was absent, he would always feel a great deal of responsibility around the house. In ways, not conscious to him, he felt like he took his father's place when father was gone, even in matters that he was not capable of fulfilling.
Removing the dark shadows of the past. His mother was a very flirtatious woman, and flirted with him even more than she did with his father. He also remembered that she was against him having any girls in the house, and in one way or another they were never good enough. He felt tremendous guilt, and did not know where it came from. But when he married his wife and found her to be another domineering woman/mother, he could no longer go to bed and get excited without feeling the guilt of having sex with his own mother. That was how their sex life was carefully put on a shelf until they dealt with their past and removed its dark shadows out of their life.
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Aside from all that, who would truly want to make love to a tyrant? Reality becomes clearer, and the people involved can communicate and Program the Patterns of their lives, once the shadows of Past Patterns disappear and let them see the light.
New Patterns of connecting. We focused on Communication Patterns, next, during which time I taught them the art and science of the Power Balance Patterns of connecting. How to talk to each other so they could be heard, how to look at each other so they could be seen, how to touch each other so they could be felt, and how to Program the time of their communication and loving relations so that they could both be ready for it. All of these will be discussed in detail in my upcoming book, Patterns of Love.
Compassion and passion: Power Balance of love. When people involved in relationships recognize that neither one are evil or at fault, and that they both have been victimized by the limitations of their Past Programing, they begin to relax and see each other as who they truly are. The anger, blame, and Imbalance Patterns that once Blocked the Power they could give in loving each other disappears, and in its place comes a second chance to love.
They begin to not only feel empathy for each other, but to feel once more, with all the power they felt in the past, their love for each other. When we have chosen our Patterns of relating consciously and freely, then the power of giving and receiving never ends, but circulates and regenerates itself each time we love.
The consciousness of our Patterns. I asked him if he could tolerate the pain of dancing if he could sit down and play guitar for half an hour before he danced with her. He was willing to try. They have been dancing at cafes all over the world, where he sometimes gets a chance to play his guitar. Their life, they say, "has had a new beginning," while they themselves feel as though they have been born anew.
Key to joy: having Self to celebrate with others. We feel the joy of life when we have ourselves to celebrate with others. He also admitted to me later on that he was afraid of losing her because she was so pretty and he always felt less than her. She, too, admitted the exact same fear. They both laughed at their own wild imaginations, while they learned how to utilize them for a more creative, intimate, everlasting and joyful life.
We fear being alone when we lack Self, within. Victor Frankel was a known Jewish writer and philosopher during the Holocaust. He was stripped of everything he had: his family, his security, his clothing, and his social dignity. He survived it all because, he wrote to the world, "They could not take my Self away from me." And it was having that Self, or the lack of it, that determined the destiny of the millions of people of a bright and intelligent race who were manipulated by the toxic, ignorant and distorted mind of their leader. No one can truly dominate us if we have a directed, consciously-Programed Self.
Disconnected and Imbalanced Self. Even in the midst of success and happiness borrowed from the pictures in popular magazines, when the Self we are inside is different from the Self we show to others, we are indeed alone.
Magic wand of true Self. I have had the privilege of meeting many people with their masks off; in those sacred moments, many have shared with me how frantically they went about life with the purpose of making money: enough money to be able to buy everyone. But the best moments of their lives were when someone financially down stayed around anyway for the sheer joy of seeing their true heart. After years of living a lonely life, with all the heads they had bought to serve them, one person was able to touch them with the magic wand of "true Self." The most powerful tool, far beyond any gimmicks and techniques, is the sheer presence of two wholly naked souls, without guilt, shame, or the need to justify the passion that flows like the magical dance of fire between them.
Tale of a successful man
who had nothing
A man came to me who was successful by any standard. He was an extremely respected physician, married to a stunning homecoming queen, with two intelligent, beautiful children. They owned a mansion on a hill, and were invited to all the elite social gatherings. His wife had sent him to my office because she felt he had not been himself since his best friend died a year ago of a stroke at forty-one, and it had begun to affect their sex life. This man was forty-five. He agreed that his friend's death had affected him severely. He kept saying: "And he had just started his life." He told me that his friend had just divorced his wife, liquidated his company, and was going sailing around the world. Just when he had it all, it was all taken away from him.
Tears shed for others are for our own lost life. When I told this man that it was obvious to me that he was mourning his own lost life, after ten minutes of denial and sarcasm, he burst into tears. He told me his father had chosen his profession, he chose his wife to please his mother, he was a stranger to his children and he had a lover who was threatening to sue him and go to his wife if he didn't get a divorce and marry her.
A lost soul has everything but the Self. Alienated from everyone, including himself, he had begun to abuse alcohol, which had started complicating the profession he had worked so hard to build. He was indeed a lost soul, even in the midst of all his success. He could not even begin to know who he was. After his friend died, he began a love affair that he didn't even enjoy. All he could see was a wasted life, and at that point, he was willing to lose it all in order to have a fresh start. He was too afraid to deal with his problems and was taking the easy way out. Unfortunately, the easy way always becomes the most costly in the long run. Nothing good comes easily in life. Only bad deals are wrapped in silk stockings, being sold for a smile.
It is never too late to change our lives. We must be prepared to pay the price for our mistakes as well as for our successes. We need to recognize, analyze, take responsibility for our mistakes and choose to change, before we can move forward. The mistake here, like any mistake was changeable. But if we wait too long, sometimes the consequences are not.
We need our true Selves in order to live true lives. Although the mistake of not developing his Self did not belong to him and was somebody else's mistake, he and the people he loved were paying for it. When we blindly go through life accepting other people's Programing as gospel, there will always be a time when we must come back to ourselves and begin again. We must come back with a clear and true Self: a Self that knows who we are and where we are going.
Others suffer when we don't have our Selves. This man's children had suffered emotionally from a great deal of sadness and confusion. Feeling like the family's situation was their fault, it had left them with a great deal of guilt too overwhelming for little children to handle. Their schoolwork suffered and they did not identify with other children because they were not as happy-go-lucky as children should be. They felt betrayed by both parents who seemed too burdened by their own soul-searching to be good adult parents. Just when they were beginning a life that should promise them joy and prosperity, they felt it was painful and unfair.
Power Balance of Patterns of giving-receiving. Patterns of giving are only half of being a whole Self: the other half is within the Patterns of receiving. After a brief separation, during which time he and his wife dated while he spent his time understanding himself, he was able to reestablish a meaningful relationship with his wife. He discovered that he had a Self which enjoyed both giving and receiving.
Individual Power Balance and Excellence. After he was able to look at his Past Patterns and recognize the Addictive Patterns that from early-on in his life stemmed from a lack of adequate nurturance and deprivation of the love he needed, he was able to commit to Patterns of Prevention and Excellence that provided Self-discipline and freed him from indulgences that buried him in denial.
Family Power Balance and Excellence. Together, the couple reevaluated their roles, priorities and purposes in life, and looked at the Patterns of Relating they had developed with each other as a result of the handed-down belief systems that were no longer working for them. They spent time with their children to help them understand that what was happening was not their fault, and to help them feel loved and secure. Since my client had his own Self to share with his loved ones, there was much to identify with, to understand and to love.
The miracle of life. A miracle had taken place. He was able to salvage what he had lost in his endless efforts to make a person happy whom he did not even know: himself. The man behind the title of Chief of Staff, a title which meant nothing to him since he did not like or believe in his career until it was he who decided to remain as a doctor; the man who did not own the passion he truly felt for his wife; and the man who felt so neglected inside that he did not know how to love the inner souls of his own children. This man was given a second chance at a new life.
Rebirth: a second chance at a new life. He began a new life based on his true Self: a Self he himself Programed by making clear choices in his Patterns of Relating. He became a Self separated from the past mistakes of others, committed to the responsibility of a life of freedom and joy. Today, he is living happily with his two children and wife, who has also undergone her own process of Pattern Change to meet him halfway, in a path of Power Balance with joy and mastery.